Rebirth!

Guess who's back?

After a long hiatus?

After closing on a home, moving, relocating, moving some more, and relocating more?

After getting all the finances straight and transferred and accounts setup for the new home?

After leaving one part of the Containment Area.... to live in another part of the Containment Area?

You guessed it! I AM BACK PEOPLES!!!

So I just finished the moving in process and getting things switched over to the new address. I had no idea how much work that really was. Obviously some things had to be sacrificed temporarily... And after a long and lengthy debate, it was decided that blogging was the sacrifice I should make to accomplish everything I need to get done.

Right decision!

There were so many nights during the move that I was so tired, I just laid my head down and that did me in! Plus I moved all by myself, packing the car and making multiple trips when I could during work weeks. Got a little help from work colleagues when it came to getting rid of my couch. I did not stop exercising (thank God) during that whole time... Yea, I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness... I heard that in a song somewhere, hehe.

But no worries. I am BACK! These are exciting times and so much has happened despite the move -- in religious development, social development, and of course, my physical AND mental development.

Right now I am up bright and early because my nieces are graduating from school today. So I need to hit the gym early, and then go to their graduation. Great times to be an uncle I guess, hehe.

Dating season is around the corner and I am going to see what the pool is looking like this time around. Last year sucked but the grass is always greener (smirks... I mean smiles).

This is going to be one helluva summer! One HELLUVA dating season!

Slippin Big Time!

Whew!

I need to catch up on my blog postings. But to make a long story short: adding relocation and painting to my list of already busy activities has taken a toll on me! OMG! Well, to update, I have a home now, and this weekend I started painting my living room. I picked a steel gray color (with blue tints) because I am going for a very modern/contemporary look. It is going to look REAL NICE when the whole main area is decorated. I might hire a professional to do the kitchen - there is no WAY I can reach the part of the wall where the cabinets are (without messing those up). But the dining room, and the bedrooms, are definitely within my domain!

Draft Day!

Today was a great day for both my schools, Ohio St and USC. Sanchez, Nets. Cushing, Texans. Matthews, Packers. Beanie, Cardinals. Laurinaitas, Rams. Robiskie, Browns. Maualuga, the Nati. Moala, Colts. USC is leading Ohio St in draft picks so far. Hopefully everything will even out for both my schools. I even met more of my neighbors. No one has completely moved in... yet, lol. everyone is still painting, lol. even me! But I did start moving a lot of non-critical living items to my new home. Like boxes I never even opened up from my first move here, to kitchen items I have not used since God knows when, hehe. I even showed my nieces my new home. They absolutely loved it, and they already have their rooms picked out! Guess it is time to get some furniture.

Let the relocation begin!

Starting tomorrow, I will begin phase 1 of many of my relocation to my new home! I will start with all nonessential items... stuff I still have boxed up from my move here from Buckeye-land. I need to call the utility companies to get everything transferred into my name, and the cable guy to transfer my internet access.

Still thinking of how I am going to decorate my home. I know I want the main areas decorated and furnished by mid June to early July, as well as have beds for the bedrooms. Since I will be hosting family for the summer. Painting the bedroom areas do not concern me at this point... The living, dining, and kitchen on the other hand...

I heard so much about this "Highpoint" place from friends and colleagues, but my eyes are still focused on that Ikea store in Charlotte. Hopefully, my tax credit will come in the next few weeks so I can use it for decoration and furniture.

1 Year Anniversary

Today marks the 1 year anniversary since I started my full time employment at my present employer. So I brought in Bagels from Panera Bread to celebrate. They sure went by FAST! I am just glad that I was able to get my 1 chocolate chip bagel, hehe! Nonetheless, it was a typical work day, followed by 2 workout sessions, and choir practice. I accomplished a lot in my first year here.

I truly feel that my career is off to a great start! I had a one-on-one with my manager and just basically gave him a presentation of my career from my point of view. I let him know of all the skills that I have that the department is and is not taking advantage of, and what I have been doing to keep my skills not being used, well, fresh. Also, I reiterated my desire for international travel. I made it clear that at some point I want a 1 year international assignment somewhere outside the known 50 states and US territories. And that my engineering career goals still include becoming a licensed professional engineer, because it will take me far if I do decide to go into consulting, or project management, even general management. You have no idea how many clients will not consider you if you can not prove that you have at least ONE licensed professional engineer. Trust me, it is a lot! Which increases my desire to get it.

I also told him that with or without the company's 'blessing' I will be a full time MBA student in August 2014, and that nothing will make me happier than to resume my career with the company I am with now to apply my new education in the post MBA timeframe. Basically, with a career plan mapped out, we both have direction on how to shape my tasks, assignments, and opportunities.

I also made a lot of strides outside of work. Since before coming here, I made it my point to make several stands. And I made several personal declarations. Among those include finding a church home before the first Sunday after my arrival, being active in church, trying new things, and losing all the weight I gained during undergrad and grad school. All goals, I feel were accomplished beyond anything I could possibly imagine.

On the religious front, I am active in the young adult ministry and the gospel choir. I participated in prayer sessions, and during lent, the caterpillar challenge. Through prayer, being with the right people, my spiritual life has taken on new meaning. God has done great things for me. With the grace of God, and the mercies of a certain choir director, I went from never singing in a choir, to singing the Exsultet solo for Easter Vigil. I feel a stronger presence of God in my life now, and the church I attend DEFINITELY has a lot to do with it.

On the physical front, I paid a terrible price for my education by letting myself go. Eating and sleeping, and not exercising. Even in the post-USC timeframe, I was exercising but it was not enough. When I arrived in the Containment Area, I made a promise to myself to intensify all workout cycles. I still ate what I wanted, but I started doing 2-a-days in the gym... At first it was 30 minute cardio twice a day, but that later evolved to two 1 hr cardio sessions everyday. I did not start my weight training until the first week of January of this year, and I have been keeping track of my progress. When I started my weight training, I made sure all my meals were as balanced as possible to make sure I was eating the right amounts of carbs, proteins, fats, calories. When I went vegan for lent, I had to substitute all animal products, including meat with synthetic proteins, but now I am back to eating meats and eggs etc, but just more aware of alternatives. I take advantage of the alternatives as much as possible now.

As a result of my newfound drive and resolve, I am 50+ pounds lighter and I went from wearing XL/2XL clothes to wearing Mediums. None of my clothes fit me anymore and I ended up buying new outfits. I look a lot healthier than I did one year ago. I have way more energy now, and I am very stress free at work. It is amazing how exercising does not cause any more headaches for me or make me feel all fidgety or whatnot when I am in the lab.

Socially, I am meeting new people and making new connections, but it has been very slow. I get out every once in awhile for salsa, but even that (and dating) has stalled mostly because of what I am about to write below but I still have a desire to be a more social person. This is something I need to work out in year 2.

The highlight of my 1st year accomplishments rests with the fact that I was able to become a homeowner before my 1 year anniversary of employment. To me that was a very hard and ambitious task -- To save enough money to put down on a home. I even had to stop taking Golf and Salsa lessons to accomplish this. I knew one thing for certain: I was not going to be renting for a second year. That was my motivation to put down on a home. It is the financially responsible thing to do, especially since I will be here for awhile.

I do not know what year 2 in the Containment Area for Relocate Yankees will bring, but year one, with all the ups and downs, ins and outs, highs and lows, was a great year.

And the best is yet to come!

HERES TO YEAR TWO!!! EL YAY!!!!!!!

Home Decorating Books

So today I went to Barnes and Noble to look at some home decorating books. I already have help on the way from some friends, but it is always good to have some knowledge on the subject. I feel that their decorating skills are far superior to my own, so I will still go by their input and suggestions. Nonetheless, it is good NOT to be absolutely clueless when it comes to this enormous feat!

So when it comes to decorating, the main priorities are the living room, dining room, and the master bedroom in terms of painting, furniture, and accents (i am learning new terminology!!!). There is very little to do in the kitchen (just basically change the paint color). After those three, I will focus on the guest room followed by the 3rd floor bedroom.

As for the garage... I have no clue, but it needs to be a 'mans' garage! I need to give this some serious thought.

Anyways, exciting times! What will happen next!?!

Homeowner Status!

Let it be known that on THIS day, April 20, 2009, at 1330 hrs (thats 1:30 PM for all you non-military time people), I closed on my 3 bedroom 3.5 bath townhome in the Containment Area for Relocated Yankees. I am officially a homeowner!

El Yay!!!

El Yay!!!

El Yay!!!

Talk about pure joy and excitement. Do you know what this means!

- House parties
- Buckeye and Trojan football gatherings
- Another possible location for prayer group meetings
- Barbecues!!!
- And a bunch of other stuff that I can not think of since it is late at night and I need to be asleep.

The evacuation has begun from my apartment to my HOME!

OMG I HAVE A HOME! Do you know how GREAT that feels to say that!?!

Now all I gotta do is decorate it. I already know how I want the main area to look, thanks to a couple of home showings. I just do not know where to start. I know a couple of things are for certain

- MY Bedroom will have a king sized bed
- The kitchen will soon be populated with the Kitchenaid appliances I already have.
- I need new furniture for the main areas
- I need a gas grill, no man's home is complete without a propane gas grill. DO NOT TRY TO TALK ME OUT OF THIS ONE

and I am pretty sure there is more stuff, but it is very late, and I am sleepy, and I need to go to work tomorrow!

I keep forgetting that the nightlife

Is NOTHING like Los Angeles... OR Columbus! Everything closing down around 2 in the morning. What is that!?! LOL. Anyways, nothing really eye-popping happened during the night out on the town... Maybe I need to find some new spots. This area social-scene wise is still unexplored territory to me. There may be some more exciting places elsewhere. Church was church... just another typical Sunday. But I have been preparing for something major tomorrow. Something so grand I can not wait to say it on here, and announce it to the world. But I have to wait! Hehe. All will be revealed soon!

Night out on the town

Out with the homies checkin out the nightlife. It has been awhile since I checked out the scene. Let's see what crazy things I see tonight!

Friday Night

This was such a long day... The end.

The Susan

Ever since Susan Boyle got on Youtube, I have been playing that song over and over and over again during work to get me through my day. She has such a lovely voice. She is the quintessential example of how not to judge someone by their looks, because she made all those people who doubted her look real stupid! I really do not have much to write about tonight. It was a long work day, 2 workout sessions, and choir practice. I need some sleep. Good night!

SUSHI!!!

Today, I went to the Sushi place near the Southpoint area... and THAT SUSHI was ON POINT! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!! I am definitely going back again! The Sushi was pretty much the highlight of my day. I dont know why I went there, I just did. I asked a fellow from Church to join me, and so we went. It is good to socialize. I have not been doing too much of that as of lately with anyone. I am trying to change that, but I am just so caught up in other things, good things that I need to have focus on.

Great things lie ahead. My future has not been written. Would you like to know more? Turn the page!

Another Busy Day

Nothing much here. worked out twice, went to work twice, tutored once, and went salsa dancing. Yea, I have not danced in quite a while, but it is nice to know that I still have some of the technique down. Once some other issues clear up, I will be able to return to salsa full time. good night

Intermediate Workout Blues

So this week begins my first full week in my intermediate weight training series. Most of my exercises in general are the same for each body group, with the substitution of some with 'new' exercises. With Lent and Holy Week over, I can finally go back to not only my 2-a-day workout routine, but eating several (healthy) meals a day. On Mondays, I work my shoulders, triceps, biceps, and forearms. What is different from the beginner series is the fact that now, I have to do 3 sets instead of 1. Even when I was doing one set, I was seeing quite a bit of gain, and as I kept track of my workouts, I was noticing that I was increasing the weight every workout. But when I started doing three sets of my new list of exercises for this particular week, it was a nightmare. the workout plan I am following suggests doing 3 sets of 6 reps per exercise at a weight you feel comfortable with. I (barely) made my 6 reps/set quota on all of my exercises. So this means I am at the right weight to build off of. The worst exercise was the wrist roller. That thing will work your forearms to death and I felt friggin murdered after doing 3 reps on my WARM UP set. Wrist roller is no joke!

I can only imagine what Wednesday (legs) will bring in terms of the extended set weight training. I wonder if I will be able to walk.

Going to bed now, gotta get up early!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone!

So today, I donned the mint-green Nautica, the striped tie, and the Kenneth Cole slacks! Facial hair gone, contacts on, GQing it up! LOLOL. Anyways, in terms of the message, there was no real assertive difference between the homily I heard from the vigil mass and today's mass. Basically because if people can not make the Sunday service, they go to the Saturday one, to get the same message. But it is good for me to hear the same thing twice. Most of the time I have to hear things twice to 'get it' once. I know, I am slow, but I am getting much better, and I am farther along than where I used to be years ago. I think the most hilarious thing was the fact that at the Vigil mass, the church was at near capacity and the gospel choir did its thing! Everyone was on point, especially, for once in my choir career, me! Today, the church was jam-packed with people, but the traditional choir sang (the one that normally sings on Saturday). Something told me then, that they were expecting the gospel choir. But when they saw some of us in the pews, especially me, well... So yea, I thought that-that was interesting. The traditional choir sang beautifully. Trust me on this one, I know! I am glad that the Lenten season is over, and that Holy Week is finally behind me.

It was a time of focused self-discovery and soul searching. And even now, I continue my soul-searching and my self-discovery. Where the road of my life takes me only the Lord knows. But I do look forward to returning to my two-a-day exercise routine, eating several meals a day, and going to work early and leaving early. So much to do in the coming days, and so little time. Right now, I rest. See you tomorrow morning!

Easter Vigil

So tonight I attended the Easter Vigil mass at my church. I had a solo, called the Exsultet. It is a (very) long proclamation about the Lord ascension into heaven and it is sung A-Capella. I was very humbled by the many positive responses I received from the choir and the congregation. I heard that it is not an easy piece of music to sing, and with the choir director silent on the ivories, it made it all the more challenging. I feel that I prepared for it well... Ever since I was told that I was going to do the Exsultet, before Ash Wednesday, I practiced ever since. Practiced during Lent, and every day of Holy Week. I did not want to disappoint the director, the choir, and the members of the church... But especially the director and the choir. Even though I sing with them I feel so moved by the others, especially those called to do solos. It is not easy for any of them, they sing so beautifully. The Exsultet was the least I could do to show them and everyone I have met in church, from the elders to the young adults my appreciation and thanks.

When I sung it, I felt like everyone sung it with me. The pastor, the choir, the people in the pews. God was definitely with me tonight, as God always is... But tonight he made sure I knew that God was with me... I did not miss a single note!

I do plan on finishing off this Holy Week by going to church tomorrow to celebrate Easter. But after Easter, the daily masses cease, I return to my normal pre-Ash Wednesday daily regimen, which definitely includes an earlier work time.

Also, and folks knew that this was a LONG TIME COMING........... The facial hair is gone. And people will start seeing me without my glasses more often. Get used to it, because the new me is here to stay for awhile!

Good Friday

So today was Good Friday, and there were not a lot of people at work. I was surprised to see a meeting on this day. I was like "OF ALL THE FRIDAYS!?!?!" Of course I could not make it, because I was going through a home inspection. It is not often that work and life clash on a work day, but this was one of them, and life won. But there were many other clashes where work won, so this is a victory for the life aspect of me, hehe. I also went to church and sung with the choir. Tomorrow is the Easter Vigil, and I will be doing the Exultet, the Easter Proclamation, an A-Capella solo. I have been practicing all Lent for this, and I am going to nail it. I wish my mom was here to hear me sing this.

Not going home anytime soon

So yessm, I am still at work, but I did get a little bit of a reprieve earlier this evening. I went to church, and I enjoyed dinner with great people. It sucks I have to come back to work, but I have to get a lot of stuff done. I have no idea when I will be going home tonight, or if I can even come in at 6 in the morning. I am going to have to play this one close. I have so much going on outside of work tomorrow (Good Friday).

Pray for me.

Apr 8, 2009

Yea, I do not have an original title for today's entry. Maybe because I can not really think. I feel pulled in a lot of directions. I wish I could be in several places at once, or a day's length to be longer than 24 hours. I will be going into work tomorrow very early. I need to go to bed now.

NCAA BBall Championship Tonight!

Tonight is the NCAA Mens BBall Championship. My bracket is utterly shattered with Pitt losing to Villanova. And it seems like UNC is on the march for yet another NCAA title. Can MSU stop them? I do not see how they can, but I will still root for them, for the Big 10. I just hope that they keep it manageable. If UNC gets a lead, it is over.

Palm Sunday - The Lenten Aftermath - Holy Week!

This year was one of the more challenging Lenten years, and now that Lent is officially over I can talk about some of the things that I have done. Over the past couple of years, I would give up some (one) food item, like rice, or bread, or sweets, or pop, or something else, something easy. I used college as an excuse to give up something marginal and not challenging. This year I did not want to do that. I wanted to not only give up stuff, but commit myself to things I never really committed myself to doing before.

So the first thing I did was this: I wrote a list of all my favorite foods that I loved to eat, and I crossed them ALL out. When I was done, I realized that I had eliminated every form of meat, dairy, pop, and anything else or everything else that was produced by an animal. I went Vegan for Lent, something I was far away from ever becoming. In addition to going Vegan, I did give up rice and white bread, foods I eat constantly getting through my day.

The second thing I did was this: I fasted for all of Lent. Now according to fasting rules, you get 2 small meals and 1 large one, and I think the 2 small meals cant be equal (or maybe they can) to the 1 large meal. This was challenging because before Ash Wednesday, I was eating several meals a day, but they were all healthy foods and it helped me with my exercise regimen. Simply put, ever since I arrived here last year, I exercised constantly, and ate several meals a day, and I reduced that number to three. I had no idea what to expect.

The third thing I did, from Ash Wednesday to Palm Sunday (and maybe beyond into Holy Week) was going to church... Every, single, day. When the layoffs hit (before Lent), and work was becoming more and more challenging and demanding, I did not find the time to read my bible. Sometimes when I have the little booklet of the daily readings, I would read that, but I was very inconsistent with it. So I decided to change that. I figured, if I forced myself to go to God's house every day during this period I would get my spiritual food and feel the reinforcement that God is working in my life every day whether I am consciously aware of it or not. So number 3 on the Lent list: Go to church everyday for 40 days.

So in addition to going to Mass everyday, giving up all my desired food(s) for Lent, and fasting, I also participated in the Caterpillar Challenge. It is based off a series of books, in which for Lent, the young adult group used Book 1. It is a modern day rendition of the Old Testament Book of Job, of course with some minor changes. But the study throughout the series was over the Book of Job. The Caterpillar Challenge made me take a hard look at myself as I progressed through my Lenten Journey, especially when it comes to basic moral teachings between right and wrong, good and evil, and obedience and acts.

The caterpillar knows two things: obedience and acts. When it is born, it starts to eat leaves as it is directed to by God. It obeys. It does not matter the type of leaf. And it does not care if it is eating from the leaves of our most prized shrubs, bushes, or trees or from plants we care nothing for. It eats during the heat of the day, the coldness of night, through the wind, rain, fire, and storms. Then at some point, the caterpillar spins a cocoon, lies in it, rests, and goes through a metamorphosis. It is changing from the inside so that when it emerges from its cocoon, you see a beautiful butterfly, outward and true beauty from a creature that made a change from within.

I did not realize what the leaves truly represented until after the very end of the caterpillar challenge. Yea, I am late like that, or slow, take your pick. I did not have this epiphany until I was in the middle of making palm crosses for essentially the entire parish today! LOL. The leaves represented the word of God. Well, at least to me it represented the word of God. Now the caterpillar ate those leaves regardless of the situation or scenario, it obeyed and acted accordingly. So that is what I need to strive for. Getting fed those leaves, getting fed the word, getting fed through church, through the church community, getting fed through prayer. These are my leaves, and I am sure there are more that I am just not naming for now, because the previously mentioned are the ones that strike out to me the most! The question for me is, what will I do when the day gets hot? or cold? or when the storms of life begin to rage in my life. Will I run into the masters arms as it is sung in "Safety" or will I take matters into my own hands? Will I still allow myself to be fed the leaves to find and gain wisdom during those tough times, or will I let ambition and selfishness lead me on the path to yet another act of sin?

Am I a true caterpillar? No. Will I ever be a true caterpillar? No. I do believe that I will have Caterpillar moments. Moments where I am getting fed, and getting it! Like truly understanding the word. Truly understanding the priest's homily. Moments where I am lying down in prayer thanking and praising God, in all things that happen to me, good and bad. And moments where the word is truly being exercised through understanding, through my own words, and through my own actions (thats the butterfly stage).

And to this date, the last 'caterpillar' moment I had was the day I helped the elderly man at the credit union go through several doors in front of other men and women who could have done the same but just stood there and watched the elder struggle. If you would like to know more about this story, please read the note on "Southern Inhospitality."

So why did I go through all of this? Or why did I do this to myself, because most of the things I did is not traditional faith practice (especially the daily fasting)? I did it just to see if I could. To push myself to a limit to see how far I can go before I crack! Problem is, I did not crack! I still can not believe I made it through! I did it to see if by doing this, I could get some divine inspiration towards understanding why I was alone and felt so lonely when I arrived here, and why those feelings stuck with me for a very long time. To see if I can get some clarification by the fasting, by the sacrificing of my favorite foods, and by my daily commitment to church, and through the caterpillar challenge...

Career wise, coming here was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Outside of work, this was a death sentence. Socially, I literally knew no one in my age range, except for a couple of engineers that I knew from a previous work location at an earlier point in life, but even then, we hardly ever hung out. But I did know of others, many years my elder, some married, some married with children, living their lives, and encouraging me to live my own. But my life was back in California and Ohio. My friends and family were all there. When I arrived here, I was single, alone, and lonely, and trust me, it was a horrible feeling, carrying that sense day in and day out for the first couple of months. I kept it hidden from everyone I met for a very long time. I had a social life back in Ohio. Everything from dating women to salsa dancing to mentoring... I had a social balance. I came here, and the balance was gone. Every new dateable single lady I met kept giving me the okie-dok, thus causing me to cross them off my list, getting rid of their numbers, and moving on. It was a very disturbing pattern since I did not have this problem in Columbus. I did not know anyone to mentor, so mentoring was out, and I did not know where I could continue my salsa lessons, so they were postponed. And I still did not know anyone here that had Ohio or California ties, and no known family. So I was going to focus primarily on work and exercise, because though I saw coming here as a light at the end of the tunnel career wise, I was still in the dark after the 8 hours were up.

Then I made an effort to becoming more involved with church life, and ended up not as a Lector as I originally thought I would end up becoming, but as a member of a great Choir!

Then I met young adults in my age range and participated in prayer sessions and activities with them.

Then I started exploring my gift of photography and started taking pictures and making "year in review" type video montages of the choir happenings...

Then I found out that one of my good engineering friends from The Ohio State University lives and works here...

Then I found out that a colleague of mine who works in the same department as I at work, is a salsa instructor!

Then I found out that I have a sister lives in the state...

Then I met my sister for the very first time in August, and my nieces and nephews.

Then I found out that my nephew attended/graduated from UNC (but I am still a Duke fan), and my nieces attend a day school in Durham. All of us hung out, continually throughout the year. And my nieces even came to church with me on Sundays.

I wish I could have said here: "Then I met a woman who knew what she had the moment she stared into my eyes, and that lady and I are official." But it would be a false statement.

Though the women I am meeting do not or can not see what they potentially could have had when they give me the okie-dok, their (in)actions no longer confuse nor concern me. I learned that I will only do so much pursuing. When they are interested in spending time with me, we spend time together. When they are no longer interested in spending time with me, I spend it with another and not look or go back! I am learning so much from every encounter, and I keep going, with an open mind and an open heart with every new woman I meet. To treat them all equally with a fair shot even when they do not have that mentality or approach towards me.

In the end, in the present day, I am still single, but I am not alone and I no longer feel lonely. If anything, the Caterpillar Challenge made me realize that I saw being alone and feeling lonely as a curse, something evil and not good that has yet imposed itself on my life. But I do not know if being alone and feeling lonely is ultimately good or bad, because only God has that vantage point. I should strive to be obedient and act according to God's will.

I think I will continue to go to church daily throughout Holy Week, but return to my normal work schedule after Easter. As for the Vegan thing, it is over. The adjustments I had to make to get enough protein in my system to satisfy my weight training did not taste good! I even had to look really close at the label to make sure that whatever supplement I was consuming did not contain dairy! So I am definitely looking forward to going back to eating several small meals a day and reincorporating lean meats back into my diet. The less synthetic protein I take the better in my opinion! But I will say that during the Lenten Journey, I had a ton of energy. And maybe it was the foods I was eating, maybe it was the exercise before and during Lent, maybe it was God, I do not know. All I do know is that there were nights where I was working from 9:00 AM until 10:30 PM, I would go home, go to sleep, and then wake up at 5:00 AM fully charged. That has never happened to me before I gave up all dairy and meats (and sweets) for Lent. Normally I would play the Alarm snooze game (you know, where the alarm goes off, and you hit the button to sleep some more), but when the alarm went off at 5AM, I was out of bed, fully alert, and not yawning or feeling sluggish.

I am sharing this with you because I have never shared my Lent experiences with anyone, period, but I have learned so much not only during my soon-to-be one year here, but during the 40 days and nights of my Lenten commitments. About myself, primarily, and how my outlook of the world keeps evolving to what I feel is a higher state of understanding, through prayer, having the right people in my life, and staying dedicated to the Church.

Now onto my last greatest challenge of the whole Lenten season and Holy Week: The Exultet, My Saturday Easter Vigil Solo. Lord, Help Me!!!

The Lenten Saga: Day 38

So I somehow got convinced to take myself out of the apartment for the evening so I will probably go to the first Fridays thing they have at the Hilton or Spice Street. If I go to the Hilton it would be for networking... Spice street, dancing (salsa). I think I will network, I still am new here and should be a little more social than I have been. Let's see what the evening brings!

The Lenten Saga: Day 37

Yea, this was a pretty long Thursday, from work to choir, and working out. Somehow I am managing to fit exercise in my daily schedule regardless of how hectic work gets. I literally force myself to the gym. I have to work off the stress! Well actually, as hectic as work gets, I do not really feel that stressed. I think it is because I workout in the middle of the afternoon, and by the time I get back into work, I feel refreshed. It is like from 9:00-11:00 the stress level is getting higher and higher, and then I go to eat lunch, then exercise, and the stress level is reset back to zero... Then before it creeps back up to critical, it is time to leave for the day. Stress level goes back to zero! Because of Lenten obligations I usually come into work a little bit before 9 AM, but that will change in the post-Easter timeframe. Speaking of which, I really have to get this solo down for choir. I did so well, until I hit the third page (yea this thing is long)... It has been giving me trouble since day one, but I think I have it together now. All I need to do is hit this one note right, and it is smooth sailing from there!

Well, it is late, and I need rest. Good nite!

The Lenten Saga: Day 36

4 more days... and my 40 day journey is complete.

Oh wait! I forgot all about Holy Week, !$#@$@#$@#$@# I gotta keep this going for one more WEEK!?!?! ARRRRRRGH!!!!! My frickin goodness! I thought the whole 40 day thing was to end on Easter Sunday! Dang I can not count, that or the Church..... or both! hehehe. Oh well. I can not wait to write what I have been wanting to write for quite some time, the lessons learned from this years lenten season. My have I gone through a lot of changes, and thats just 40 days worth. Positive changes at that. But all will be revealed Easter Sunday. I have to figure out what is going on with my assignment at work, it is driving me nuts. Like this thing I am working on works in some instances, does not work in others, and the worst part is, it is totally random. So it is difficult for me to acertain whether or not the problem is on my end or someone elses. One thing is for certain, I really feel out of my element and I need to find solutions fast! But it is hard to solve a problem when you do not even know the question.

This is something I just have to take one day at a time. Lord help me.

The Lenten Saga: Day 35

Yea, sorry, I did not write anything for day 34, but it was not like I had much to say on Monday either... I was very tired when I got home from work... I just went to sleep and was out until 5:00 this morning. Now I am hungry, and about to fix some good food to eat! Work is getting more intense but I am not letting that stop me from having somewhat of a normal life. I just wish I was a little quicker on 'getting things.' Note I did not say 'getting things done,' but I feel a little bit out of my element, and thus a little bit slow in understanding processes. I need to get back to having the mentality of only working 8 hour days, and only 8 hour days. Because now everything is beginning to get blurry. Once there used to be a fine line between work and life, like black and white, but now it is all gray. It got so gray that as soon as I got home yesterday early evening, I was knocked out until the next day. I have to reestablish that balance again.

The Lenten Saga: Day 33

I definitely either need to purchase a new suit or have my old one tailored.

People are beginning to notice a lot of changes about me. The fact that I have slimmed down... a lot since last year. The weekend before I wore clothes that actually fit me, but this week I wore the suit I had since when I was much heavier. It is so loose on me, even the belt at the last loophole could not keep the pants up. So I will take the suit in this week to get it tailored. It is still a pretty nice suit, with PLENTY of fabric the tailor can play with. Buying a new suit right now is out of the question. I am saving my money for something much greater! And after that great day, then I will re-visit getting more clothes that fit. I want to proudly say that I lost a lot of weight the healthy way. I still ate regularly (several times a day everyday before Lent), and exercised constantly. Taking proper vitamins and watching what I eat. It was not until this year that I started my weight training... All of 2008 was dedicated to cardio. Now I mix the two and have not looked back since.

Holy week is right around the corner, starting with Palm Sunday. I have been asked to help make Palm Crosses, something I have not done in a VERY long time. I still remember how to do it, I just need a couple of palm leaves so I can practice a little bit before next Sunday, just to get it perfected! There is a place in the Containment Area that have these Palm Leaves. I will try to get some this week to practice with.

The Lenten Saga: Day 32

Today I sat back and listened mostly during today's Caterpillar Challenge session. I really did not have much to say or add... Well, even if I did, I keep failing to convey what I want to say. I am beginning to realize that I am much better conveying my message through written word than by voice. It is something I definitely need to work on. I am learning a lot, but I am also realizing that I am a very textbook person. I see questions, then I answer, but if we go further into the topics the Caterpillar book asks, I am silent. It is the equivalent of me teaching my pupils I tutor how to use their own reasoning and what they were taught to solve more complicated problems based off knowledge of the basics. This is simply the religious equivalent.

I must get better.

The Lenten Saga: Day 31

So this was another long week. Pretty boring one too. I really do not have much to talk about tonight about anything... or this week. My work hours are getting way too long, and work-life is beginning to become a blur. I need to find a way out of that.

The Lenten Saga: Day 30

It is late and I am still at work... These tasks are not going to do themselves. But hopefully I can get these tests done and then I am home. So while these tests are running, I will be watching the Duke-Villanova game. I have Duke winning in my bracket so Go Duke!!! Hehehe

The Lenten Saga: Day 29

Wow, this was such a long day. I just now got home from work. Today I sang with the choir at a funeral. So throw that in with working out, getting lab tests done, creating allocation reports, and doing more lab tests, and somehow finding food in between to eat, makes this a very long day for me. So I will no go to sleep and get some rest. It just keeps getting better and better... That last sentence was meant to be sarcastic.

The Lenten Saga: Day 28

Oh my goodness!

I just had one of the worst Siopao attacks (LOLOLOLOLOLOL) ever, in my modern-day history. The weird part is... I have no clue how this got triggered. I woke up this morning and found myself saying to myself, "Hmm, I want to eat siopao for lunch..." and thats when the war between my stomach and my brain began! I just could not stop thinking about it!

For those of you who do not know what it is, Siopao is basically a steamed bun but filled on the inside with a type of meat (pork, chicken, beef) or (scrambled) egg, onion (other vegetables optional, but I usually stick with onion), and a couple of sauces for flavoring. When done right, oh my goodness!!!!!! I can bash like 10 of these! I am just so tempted to make it, but I can not! I need to wait a couple more weeks! Then it will be ON!!!

Yea, one of my many ethnicities is beginning to emerge! LoL!

Oh well, gotta get up early tomorrow, so I am calling it a night! Peace!

The Lenten Saga: Day 27

Nothing much going on today, pretty standard and boring. Work, workout, tutor, home.

Now I sleep!

The Lenten Saga: Day 26

Such an eventful day! From singing twice at two churches, to participating in the Crop Walk, to even watching USC and Michigan State go at it. Unfortunately, my Trojans did not make it, but I think it is pretty safe to say that it was not a cakewalk for MSU. They earned that win, but it was no gimme. USC lost by 5. Duke is still in, YaY! And I will be watching the Villanova-Duke game with much interest. Now in my bracket I have Pitt and Duke going at it, with Pitt winning, but if Duke pulls it off, I will not complain!

Funny, this is where I usually do my Sunday thoughts, but it has been a very long and busy day. I do not even know how far I walked in the Crop Walk.... I just followed everyone else, but I had a walking buddy, a choir member from church. I was the only young adult from the church group there, so everyone else were my elder. Nonetheless, I had fun, and it was enjoyable.

I need to get up early tomorrow, so I am signing off now!

The Lenten Saga: Day 25

So today was a pretty normal day. Got up, ate, worked out, handled business, went home, ate (lol), and now I'm going out again. Just doing some salsa dancing, keeping what little skill I remember up... I will take it back on sometime after June or July... I just have a lot going on right now in my life. Today I learned a lot of lessons about myself at the Caterpillar Challenge meeting. And though I could not fully convey how I felt about a certain topic, I heard enough from the group to let me know the answer to a question that I had since arriving to the Containment Area: How far have I progressed in my evolution of reasoning and thought on certain situations that I have encountered in my life from the family side.

It was kind of like one of those "when I was a child I played as a child, thought like a child, spoke as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things" moments. I will elaborate more after Lent is over.

The Lenten Saga: Day 24

I am definitely into the March Madness, and so far my 2 of my 3 teams pretty much won their games (Duke, USC). Now all eyes on Ohio State! Gotta finish up this caterpillar challenge reading, and I am all good to go! YaY!!!

The Lenten Saga: Day 23

The NCAA Basketball Tourney is well underway. PITT for National Champs! Anyways, I just saw that Clemson Lost to Michigan! Why am I not surprised? UM is surprisingly decent... They are no Ohio State, but still. Anyways, bedtime for me. Good night!

The Lenten Saga: Day 22

I am still at work as I am typing this...

Cold, tired, hungry.

I am losing my energy. Will I be able to make it home?

I have so many things going on in my head. Everything is a blur... As a matter of fact, everything is beginning to get really blurry. This work must get done. No one else can do it but me. At least I found some time to work out my legs today, and boy did I give them one hell of a workout. Every part of my lower body was very tender coming out of the gym... I need food... I need water. My head is getting lighter. It is hard to focus on a lot of things. I need to do my caterpillar readings.... I am usually done by Wednesday for whatever we will be talking about on Saturday, but I am falling behind. It is hard to multitask, but I need to find a balance. I do not know how much longer I am going to last. I feel like sleeping here! But I can not! I must leave! I think I will go to the salsa social at 9... That should give me a little energy... enough to make it back to the Containment Area.

Lord, Help Me.

The Lenten Saga: Day 21

The march madness is reaching fever pitch! So I went ahead and got my bracket done... For now. I have Pittsburgh winning it all but that might change. I went ahead and place Ohio State and USC in the sweet 16! LOLOL... Now the chances of that happening is slim, but one can dream! Still good on the Lenten promise! and things are coming together for the house! Exciting times, indeed!

The Lenten Saga: Day 20

So today was a pretty long day, but I feel like I am being carried. I am not sure why, but ever since I started this Lenten Journey, and gave up what I gave up, I am noticing quite a few changes... Positive changes at that! I have a lot of energy, and I am waking up earlier than ever before. I am getting less sleep, but when I wake up, I feel like I have slept for 8 hours. It is the weirdest feeling. But I am also seeing the temptations all around me. It is as if I can not get away from it, and it is getting more and more intense! I pray I will not fall... I made it 19 days. It is not getting any easier. I heard people say that if you give up something challenging and you made it past 10 days, it gets easier... Whoever said that was lying! LOL. It is harder, now more than ever.

To day 21!

The Lenten Saga: Day 19

So yea, let the March Madness begin!

I am getting my bracket in order, hopefully, I will have better luck this year than last, because I DEFINITELY did not see Kansas winning it all last year. Today was a rainy day... God was washing away the sins of the world, as mom would say. But it is late, and I need to go get some rest. Peace!

The Lenten Saga: Day 18

Oh what a DAY in sports!

USC Wins the Pac - 10!

THE Ohio State beats Michigan State! and they WILL Be BIG-10 Champs

Carolina LOST! LOLOLOL

and Duke Won (future ACC champs baybee)!

Need I say more!?!?!?!
I mean seriously, need I say more!?!?!

The Lenten Saga: Day 17

Well, I know I am still going through my Lenten Journey, but I also said last week that I will write another social dating okie-dok note, and here it is!!!

So from the Yankee that brought you "The Broken Date Syndrome" and "The Possible Date Disorder" here is another okie-dok that I do not put up with.

Okie-Dok #3: Lady keeps mementos (pictures etc...) of past loves in her home while dating men.

So I recently told a friend of mine a story about one of the women I dated . I told him how we hit it off, exchanged numbers, and for the first couple of dates, I would go and pick her up, but I would never go into her residence when I walked her to her door. You know, being the true gentleman that I am. We were progressing. We had already held hands, shared a kiss, you know how I do! You will be surprised how far a little charisma and youthful and gentleman-like qualities will take you with a woman. And fellas, she was no duck! And fellas that know me, have you ever seen me with anyone that quacks? (LOLOLOL). Anyways, about one week after our last date, right when I was about to call her (to ask her out on another date) she calls me and invites me over for dinner, sweet talking me and saying things like "You deserve this, because you've been so good to me," and "I'm glad men like you still exist," "You are worth it," Bla bla bla bla bla...

Hey, I was not going to complain, it was almost as if she read my mind and beat me to the punch. To make it even scarier, the day and time of this dinner was the exact day and time I was going to ask her had I asked her out on the next date! A woman making dinner for me! This was before Obama's "Change you can believe in!" I was liking this... And everything was good.... Right up to the point when for the first time, I entered her residence... for the last time.

I saw one of those wall frames that got like 10-20 different slots for different photos and I saw quite a few guys, and pictures of her hugged up on some of them. This is how the conversation went:

Yankee (me): "Wow! You told me that you had a huge family... Are all of these your brothers and nephews? I am assuming those are your parents, and that is probably your sister..."

Woman (her): "Yea, thats my mom and dad, and thats my sister, but those aren't my brothers, those are some of my ex's that I keep in contact with."

Yankee (me): "You still keep in contact with your ex's?"

Woman (her): "Yea, this one called me a couple of days ago all drunk and !@#@! He wants to see me this weekend. I told him I'll go. I aint seen him in awhile."

DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Thats WTF spelled out just in case you were getting confused)

It was bad enough that she had her ex's on the wall, but the fact that she was receiving drunk calls from her ex's was more than I was willing to put up with. Now I have my own view on the drunk call, but this note is about past loves, and she basically gave me a double whammy!

Now, my (male) friends and I had a HEATED discussion about women and their past-love mementos. Of course this conversation took place years after this dating encounter (circa near present day!). One of my boys was pissed that his girlfriend kept pictures of some of her ex's all out and about her apartment, and they have been exclusive for about a year. From the exchange from this brotha to the group, he relayed to us that she was telling him that there was no effing reason for him to be all jealous like that and to be a man and grow up because "you need to get off that petty !@$!@." He told us he then apologized to his woman, and promised to never bring it up again, but he was still very bothered by the situation. So when he told us this, I asked another brotha what he thought and he told me that there really shouldn't be a reason to keep pictures like that around. All the other brothas were shaking their head... at the man who apologized, they thought he took the @#$#@ way out. In my view, I think he did too.

So why are the pictures of past loves and mementos an okie-dok?

It is an okie-dok because the woman is trying to convince the man that she living in the present with evidence of the contrary. In other words, she is still stuck in the past.

Some people find it hard to let go of great times and great memories with people they gave their hearts to. But whether you were the dumper or the dumped part of you feels damaged. So to move on, you think about all the great times you had with the people you are no longer seeing. The way they look, their smile... Let the right Luther Vandross song come on while you are looking at your last ex from a box of memories, and you will be in tears. But then, after several months, you start going out again, but you did not get rid of the pictures. Then you meet a guy that you really like, and after you two go out, quite a few times it gets serious to the point where you start inviting him over to your place. Sometimes you try to be smart and you hide the photos, you put them in a box, or you still keep one by your bedside, in the room where your new love is forbidden to go. Or you have the type of mentality that you are not going to make changes to your home layout and if some guy you are dating thinks that having pictures of your ex's around the place is weird, you are ready to fire your shots!

In the Social Dating world, this ailment is called the Ex-Defect. Just like the Broken Date Syndrome, and the Possible Date Disorder, it is not cultural, racial, gender, creed, profession, or age specific! Symptoms include a spirit and body in the present, with a mind trapped in the social-dating mental ecstasy that is the past. Symptoms also include increased aggression against men who found the balls to confront you on the ailments aided to keep you Ex-Defective (pictures mostly, but pictures and mementos of your past loves) who are trying to cure you!

Yea, you people (men and women) did not know that was a disease huh?

So what is this Relocated Yankee's stance on the Ex-Defect?

When it has been established that the woman I am dating has not / can not / will not let go of her past for our present, we have no future together. She is no longer in my life, and I will not look back!

This is a very aggressive stance. Would you fellas like to know why I am able to sleep so GREAT at night? Because lets admit it men, women dominate our minds, especially the ones that do not know what they want, you know, the ones where the light bulb has not gone off yet in their head to get it together, so they end up messing with your emotions? you know? the ones that love to play games and we let them because WE want them so badly!!! They love speaking in tongues and I do not mean French kissing or being caught up with the Holy Ghost at church!

So when you bring up the issue of past loves (only when YOU have visual confirmation of the proof, DO NOT ASK BEFOREHAND), a majority of the time, I have found that the conversation somehow gets flipped (the longer you engage the woman on this) so that you feel bad. YOU end up feeling bad because she convinced you that YOU were showing signs of jealousy... When in fact you had every right to be concerned. You have every right to be concerned because you are trying to be a contender for her present (and possibly future). You two can not exist in two different time periods! There is no way!

Fella, at what price are you willing to pay for a woman that does nothing but play you (and having photos/mementos of past loves while being with you, whether you are casually or exclusively dating, is a definite indicator that YOU are being played)? Is there a woman out there worth YOU losing your own self respect and dignity? Good luck selling that pitch to me!

Anyways to answer the question about why I sleep great at night... I sleep GREAT at night, because I do not allow the things women do, 99% of the time intentionally, to consume my mind... Thus she does not dominate my mind! Because I am able to identify their issues EARLY, drop them, and move on. I drop them because they have issues that THEY need to resolve, for themselves. I can not help her, and she should have all of that resolved before she gave me her number!

Look, I desire great relationships, with great women. Keywords: GREAT RELATIONSHIPS, GREAT WOMEN. The women I want, lives in the present, and the woman that chooses me knows that she will not have to deal with any baggage from my end coming into a relationship... Can that woman make the same guarantee if she is clinging on physical evidence of old memories from a relationship gone wrong?

I make it so simple to the women here (in the area) people are shocked (and some of my close friends are) at the fact that I have not been clubbed over the head and drug back to THEIR house! LOL!

Here is why: Whatever great memories I had with my ex's died the day we broke up. There is no evidence of their existence in my home or in my life. The photos and cards were burned, the gifts were destroyed, their numbers deleted! I think of what they did (via breakup) as paving the way for someone better to come into your life. Besides, they made the decision to become a part of my past, and I have made the decision to keep them there. And when I meet that new love, she can focus on complimenting me in her own special way, and not have to feel like she is doing any kind of damage control... AND she can sleep very easily at night knowing that she will not be compared because there is nothing/no other female from my she can be compared to!

Why? (Caution, you are about to read an ENGINEER's answer)

Because I make the best attempt to remove all possible margins for error (comparison)!

In the post-girlfriend time frame, when I date a woman, I do it with class! The last thing I want to do (fellas, this should also be the last thing you want to do too) is make the woman that chooses to date me feel like she is competing with my past. How can you put that woman first if she ever feels like she is competing with past loves? I put all of that to rest because I have no reminders of that past in my present.

Why?

Because I desire new memories!

Why?

Because I want better memories!

Why?

Because I deserve better and I must give the woman who chooses to date me (because I am a firm believer that although men do the picking, women do the choosing) every opportunity within my boundaries to make her shine in that memories category!

Question! Can that woman make the same guarantee with a photo of her ex lover at her bedside? or with a box full of pictures buried in the depths of her closet?

Fellas, when you are dating a woman, and you find out about these "past-ex" mementos, how much (of a 1-sided) sacrifice (in dignity and self-respect) are YOU willing to make to find out the answer to the above statement and question for yourself?

Here is how the rest of the conversation went after she said that she was going to see this ex.

Yankee (Me): You know, its funny, I dated someone just like you once, who had a shrine just like this (points to wall of photos). 'Imma' save you some time.


Now, the above saying is true, but that is a whole different story. I gained a lot of wisdom from another failed dating experience where I was not quick enough to identify the okie-dok right in front of me, and this woman and I went back and forth, back and forth on the issue, and it ended with me walking out angry, pissed off, upset, and complaining to some of my male friends who at the time did not have any real advice to give me. I even lost a lot of sleep... I was a wreck... but my how I have evolved! This experience shaped (along with dad's advice that day, as well as 'Majors') my official dating philosophy position on women who can not let go. And when the situation happened again, I saved myself a lot of drama. After all, until she says "I do" I must always safeguard myself first. Yea, I remember this like it was yesterday, and I even wrote it how I said it, 'Engrish' and all, LOL!

Either way, these are NOT the words of a 'playa,' but of a Yankee, Relocated!

The Lenten Saga: Day 16

What a busy day!

Thursdays are my busiest day's out of the week. I guess it is because I have so much going on. In and out of work, with choir and working out... Plus running errands does not make the day any less busy. I got a lot done at work today but I still need to do more. Looks like I will be coming in on the weekend to get it all done! Such has been the way of things. Deadlines are tight, resources, tighter, time is a luxury no one seems to have... Wow, I have not even went salsa dancing in a long time! I will remedy that Saturday... wow, That is going to be a busy day too!

Well, I guess that is good, I am very active... No couch potato-isms here! Plus I am not in my apartment long enough to enjoy the craptacular one I have in my living room. Still looking at furniture for my new place... I want to get decent stuff... I will be here for awhile. I do want to live somewhat comfortably. Exciting times, busy times!

And somehow I survived 16 days of Lent! Hmm, have not received email about Caterpillar this weekend... I guess I will send out a reminder.

To day 17!

The Lenten Saga: Day 15

Yankees Reunited!

Today I met another member of my extended family. She is a cousin, possibly distant. We went out to eat and we got to know one another. We have quite a few things in common. I wish I could talk more, but I am too sleepy. Good night!

The Lenten Saga: Day 14

The day after the night before...

Yesterday, I was upset at some things that were happening around me. Today, I felt a little better, even though my day started off rocky. I could tell that a lot of things were on my mind from yesterday, and even earlier this morning when I got checked in (body measurements etc...) at the site gym for another upcoming general fitness competition. Even though I lost a lot of weight, and I do mean A LOT of weight, I had an elevated blood pressure of 140/80, which is basically hypertension. I am very confident that it was due to earlier events that happened in my day! I might have my blood pressure re-taken again because I know was not in the right of moods, and though it showed a lot on the outside, I took steps to make sure the least amount of people saw it.

Anger is a controlled emotion. I remember being told as a child that being angry was a sin. But I remember something that Father Massingale said at the Religious Education Congress in Anaheim one year... He said (or he might have been quoting this from someone, I think St. Thomas Aquinas), that anger is not a sin, it is an emotion, but there are sins against anger.

So I did what I have got accustomed to when I am not in the right of mind... I went to the gym. Today was cardio day, and I let it all out on the machines. I tried to keep my heart rate around 160, but there were multiple instances when it went above 170, which is the heart rate zone I try to avoid at all costs.

I will say, in all fairness to all sides, that my issue was resolved, and everyone reconciled. I will do what is necessary to put this all behind me. No "if's, and's or but's" about it. I am a part of a team, and I will do my part, and contribute to the best of my ability. This will not destroy me.

Still have not broken Lent. Still maintaining my Lenten commitments. I will pray to the Lord to help me through.

The Lenten Saga: Day 13

I am going to sum up my day in one sentence:

I hate it when people ask me to do things, and I do it for them, but when it is my turn, and I even say PLEASE it does not get done.

The Lenten Saga: Day 12

Another Sunday, gone! But it was a very eventful day!

It started with me picking up my nieces for church... Who forgot to set their clocks ahead one hour! But they got it together. And as always, today's church message was right on point. Basically, today's message can basically be summed up with one question: If God is for us, who can be against us? That is a very excellent question. God is always for us, despite what trails and tribulations we end up going through. Even when it seems like God is absent, to us. God is always for us regardless if a friend you know is against you (and I have many when it comes to Ohio State-Michigan, USC-UCLA, and Duke-North Carolina!), or whether it be your boss at work, or an advestary near or far. So far I have been blessed in terms of not having problems with people at work.... now when it comes to Ohio State, USC, and Duke.....? That is a different story. A lot of my (Carolina) friends are still puzzled as to why I root for them. Maybe I will reveal it in an entry one day. Anyways, as I am going through Lent, despite the challenges I have set for myself, somehow God sees me through. I want to succeed, and God sees my effort, but I was seriously tempted today! LoL! I remember a very interesting line in the movie "Devil's Advocate" that pretty much sums up what I am going through:

"Look, dont touch"
"Touch, dont taste"
"Taste, dont swallow"

LOL I am dying as I am typing this!

But again, I held my own. But it is getting HARDER!!!

Anyways, Duke lost today, so I am kind of bummed, but my Carolina friends do not seem to care about my emotional state due to the loss, so I have to find another way to cope with the pain. It is okay though, Duke will reign supreme when it counts. It is only a matter of time, and then I will have the last laugh! Geeheeahahahaha!!!

Anyways, me so hongry! I am going to go forage for food before hitting the sack! Gotta get up early tomorrow! Peace!

The Lenten Saga: Day 11

Caterpillar was on POINT today!

We had a very insightful series of conversations based off the chapters in the challenge, as well as the chapters in Job. So we had to make sure that the first 3 chapters (along with the first 3 chapters in Job) were read, or known, to make this a worthy conversation. And we all did. It was interesting in how the devil could not do anything without God's permission, and that God was willing to let the devil do everything short of killing Job. There was a lot of spirit in that room at church today. And I felt it. As my Lenten journey continues, I am really learning more about myself. What I can tolerate, and what I can not. Well, stuff that I need to work on. So far I have not broken my Lenten vows, and I feel really good that I have made it this far. I honestly thought I would have croaked by now.

This is no ordinary Lenten challenge year for me. This was the year that I said to myself that I was going to take it to the extreme! And see what happens. I have been tempted so much since Ash Wednesday, yet somehow, I keep winning. I guess it is because I keep praying whenever I feel tempted to give in. I just close my eyes, pray, silently, and sometimes out loud. I seriously ask myself, if it is worth breaking Lent just to satisfy a selfish indulgence, and everytime I try to find an excuse, I find another reason to to contrary, and I end up not giving in.

But it is hard sometimes... It is hard, because temptation is everywhere... It is out in full force, working in the shadows, in the still of the nights, in the quiet tremors of my sleep. Even in the calmness of the daytime, looking through the glass at work towards the West and towards the North, where a part of me still lies. The urge to break, surge, but it goes away. As long as I resist, it goes away.

I knew it was not going to be easy, but neither is being a Christian. So much challenge. Jesus never said it was going to be a cakewalk! You will be hated on, by the devil, by the world, and you will be tested and tempted to give into your desires. But Jesus also said that if the world hates me, know that the world has hated Jesus first. Just as Jesus carried the cross to take upon him the sins of mankind, so must I challenge myself to resist the temptations that are all around me. It is up to me to take up my cross... and follow Jesus.

On the flipside of things, it looks like I have zoned in on my future home! It is a nice 3 bed 3.5 bath townhome, still in the Containment Area and closer to work!!! Which is the key for me! The subdivision is still developing which means it will be complete and great by the time I finish my mission in this area. I am still bent on my seven year battle plan, and if things happen (marriage), so be it. But if I am still single, the possibilites of my career will be endless, especially for all I want to accomplish!

Time to start making moving plans! Good thing I do not have a lot to move! But it does not hurt being ready for whats to come! These are exciting, alluring, and extremely tempting times for me! Only with patience, time, prayer, the advice of good people, can I ever stand a chance at sorting this all out correctly.

Time for me to sleep now. I have to pick up my niece tomorrow! She will be joining me at church.

The Lenten Saga: Day 10

So much going on...

So much at work...

So much outside of work...

Work, Workout, Tutor, Golf, Choir, dealing with @$$holes on the road to and from work... Just a real dose of life. Clothes no longer fit because they are too big for me, yet I refuse to get a new wardrobe because I am cheap... I guess I will have to change that tune.... Maybe after I get the home and furnish it! Priorities are becoming more and more clearer, in which (sorry to say), being social and dating members (and only members) of the opposite sex is moving lower and lower down the list. Hell, it is not like I was not trying. Women here are on some other stuff. Either they are not on my level, or vice-versa, or they are at different stages in their life, whatever. We are just not clicking! It is also possible, well, definitely possible I am meeting the wrong ones at the wrong places. Well, I will not have to worry much about that in the future. When my one year anniversary hits (the day I moved to the Containment Area), I will implement a new strategy in my development. Something I have been planning since coming to this area. No real makeovers, just a new focus... More like a theme for the year to come. Something to keep me motivated, and striving, a missing desire that I can strive towards.

One thing I learned that I am good at is implementing things that I say I am going to do. I have made a lot of promises and commitments for Lent (as well as giving up quite a bit), and I have not broken my Lenten commitment. Basically, it is only because I have one of those drives to do things "just to do them" and I love challenging myself. I try to make things a competition, even if I am the only competitor, in my mind. It drives me to push on, and implement new and different things to see if it brings me closer to whatever goals I have set. And I do feel like I accomplished something when I meet the goals.

Tomorrow, I am going to the driving range with a fellow friend who just thinks my views on dating are extreme! This is going to be one hell of a conversation! Count on that!

The Lenten Saga: Day 9

Well, I guess something always has to happen to balance the power of the forces that be. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, for every up, a down, an in, an out, and a success, a failure...

Enter Barack Obama...

The nation's first Black President! To me, he is doing his thing, and I applaud him for all his efforts. At least he is trying and basically asking the American people to help him. When he won the presidency, not only was it historic (esp. after what America put people like my father and his side of the family through), but he did the one thing that I never thought anyone in recent times can do... Restore credibility.... to...... LIGHT SKINNED BROTHAS EVERYWHERE!!!

From Sea to Shining Sea, and all the amber waves of grain.... The "Light-Skinnededed" Brothas have returned, with Obama showing everyone what we are truly about: integrity, class, dignity, and respect. And he shows it! In his thoughts and in his words, and especially his actions, for this nation when he is at work, and at all times, towards his beautiful (Midwest representin!!!') wife Michelle, and their two daughters. Nothing rattles him. He is cool, calm, and collected, even in times of mounting pressure. He has not flown off the handle, nor did he do anything unbecoming of a gentleman! A role model for all men.... especially us light skinned brothas!!! HEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHHE!!!!!!!

So Yes on that night when the west coast polls closed and CNN made the announcement (Because it AINT final until you SEE IT ON CNN), I rejoiced.... I rejoiced because not only did America's better angels showed up, but also at the fact that LIGHT SKINNED IS BACK IN BAYBEE!!!! WoooHOOOOO!

WOOOHOOOOO
WOOOHOOOOO
WOOOHOOOOO!!!!

Enter Chris Brown...

Yea, I think you know where I am going with this...

Just when it was cool to be a light-skinned brotha again, the Rihanna assault happens. Now I read the affidavit, and if that is the actual account, the law of the land in this case, then it goes without saying that this is a blow to my kind everywhere! To what degree have my peoples been set back, I do not know, and by 'my peoples,' I am referring to Light Skinned Brothas, as you are well aware! But this can not be good. I have so many thoughts on the affidavit, enough to fill in several days worth of blog entries, and rantings, but I will save myself, and you that torture, because there are too many things going on in my life, that I wish to share with you through my writings... I am not going to write more entries about the horrible turn of events on a celebrity.

Besides, I have been getting notes from women (surprisingly) on my Social Dating Okie-Dok notes (designed to help brothas out)... How I-R-O-N-I-C!! Literally asking me when am I going to write my next one. Why are yall so interested in them? It was designed to help some of MY male friends see the warning signs when they go and try to be that Barack for you, but then you do things to mess with his mind and heart, and make him do things he might not normally do (pull a Chris, to a degree).

Anyways, Okie-Dok note coming soon, maybe next week-ish. There is a lot going on right now in my Lenten Journey that I wish I could share, but I can not. Not now at least. I am going to bed now.

Will light skin be in tomorrow? After this series of events, nothing is certain!

The Lenten Saga: Day 8

You know what I have not written in awhile? A Social Dating Okie-Dok note! I guess that is because a lot of stuff is going on in my world, both inside and outside of work. Did not read Job 3 yet for the Caterpillar challenge. And since we did not meet last Saturday, the Engineer in me is saying "Hmm... If we were to discuss chapters 1 and 2 last saturday, and we need to do 1 chapter a week, what should the yankee be prepared to share with the group this week (to stay up to speed with the Caterpillar Challenge)?" My logic is flawless (damn I am good)!!! So Why am I slacking!?! I have no clue. Oh yea, I need to tell the choir peoples that I will be taking their pictures Sunday... I suppose I can do that at practice tomorrow, and I need to see if the nieces want to join me at church.

I wanted my next social dating okie-dok note to be about something that I addressed in an earlier entry (see Happy St. Valentines Day), but I think I am going to digress and talk about something else... Something a little bit more subtle that women do (which to me, is disrepectful) that I have encountered during the times I was single during undergrad, grad school, and even today. So to the ladies, I am just going to give you a heads up that you might not like my opinion or my position on this particular topic but at the end of MY day, when it comes to social dating, it solves more problems (for me) than it creates.

The Lenten Saga: Day 7

I am so tired. Why am I even up this late? I need to get up around 5 or something tomorrow. This is gonna suck. Oh you know what? I did my next reading for Caterpillar. This next chapter was very intriguing, interesting, and sad. Now all I gotta do is read to corresponding chapter in Job... But not tonight! Tomorrow is going to be as exhausting as today. Inside and outside of work. Exercise is getting more intensive, along with maintaining Lenten promises. Heres to day 8!

The Lenten Saga: Day 6

SNOW EVERYWHERE!

It was soooo beautiful! It reminded me of Ohio all over again. Hmmm... I might like this place after all... I am experiencing somewhat all four seasons... Now if only it was like this for a few days before spring... No tutoring today! I am not complaining! Just home, warm, and cozy listening to my prayer group meeting via phone. Gotta love technology. All right, gotta go!

The Lenten Saga: Day 5

Sunday Thoughts...

So today, I had to play substitute teacher for a 2nd/3rd grade class after church. It was interesting... Before church I was told that the two regulars (these two beautiful young Christ-centered women) could not make it, and since I have already had limited exposure to this class, I was somehow the perfect candidate for the job. Now how could I say no to the lady in charge?

So the message from the church today was that as we are going through our lenten journey, we need to reaffirm our faith in the Lord, hear him, and let him enter our hearts. When we do this, we, well, grow. So that was one of the things I wanted to teach this class for the day. So instead of using the orange books, I challenged them to a word puzzle based off four words: God, Repent, Lord, and Word. I aligned it in such a way that when placed in a certain order, you see the word "GROW." The kids really had fun solving this puzzle. The activity for the day was the one where we were going to plant our seeds. So they had cups, dirt, seed, popsicle sticks, and instructions. 

The class for the most part was cooperative, except for 2 students, who were dismissed after repeated offenses; not showing courtesy or respect to the instructor or to fellow students. One of the two students that were dismissed, after repeated requests to stop playing around, spilled dirt on their clothes, chair, and floor. After they were excused, class resumed, and students were very courteous, and respectful. We learned about how to sow seeds and how to take care of our plants, and how to GROW in Christ.

Unfortunately, we did not get to the book lesson, but I hope that does not dampen the regular teacher's instruction plans. Overall, it was a fun experience. You learn patience, quickly. I found that being polite but firm was very effective for all but 2 of the students. And they like engaging in interactive activities. I would instruct again if given the opportunity. 

The lenten journey continues! I have not faltered... Lets see what Day 6 brings!

The Lenten Saga: Day 4

Today was one of my busier Saturdays. Even now I am at Southpoint writing this. From getting my haircut to going to work, and meeting with the realtor... That was actually fun. Today we went on my first house hunting trip to a location still in the Containment Area. I really like this place... The townhome and this part of the containment area. At the advice of the realtor, I am looking at townhomes with better resale value... I know my career path will eventually take me away from this area, but not for several years. I was serious when I decided to make my early career stand here. I am convinced, God has some special purpose for me being here. I am still trying to figure that one out. It seems like everything ELSE is coming together except for the social life (going out with friends, dating women, external networking, etc...) but I also think that God might sit this one out because it might not be a priority in his plan for me here... It is either that or God has given me all the tools necessary to meet this social challenge. I pray that it is the latter because I see God manifesting in other areas of my life.

I realized this at church today as I was listening to the word of God. I also know that I am becoming a much more complicated person in my thoughts, ideas, and tastes. I will give you an example... I love being social... interacting, and talking, music and making noise, but I also love the silence and being by myself... I am in constant conflict over that and I try to strike a balance.

Caterpillar Challenge meeting was a flop! Everyone had something else to do. I did not get the call until I was at Church waiting for everyone else to arrive. Still got my 'assignment' done. But most likely I will have to do the next part also (Ch. 3). Just to be on track with the challenge.

Well my battery is about to die, I guess I will stop ranting now... Strange how Lent brings a lit of things to light... I guess because I am spending more time with the Lord.

The Lenten Saga: Day 3

So I have made it to the end of the week! el YAY!!! Tired as I dunno what! "Indulged" on Monday and Tuesday, and then POW! ASH Wednesday! So far I am maintaining my self-imposed Lenten Obligations... I still need to do my caterpillar challenge assignment, but I am just tired. Work, working out, talking to a colleague about one of my more favorite subjects... Women! and getting stuff to work in the lab was all I needed for a long Friday. Oh, somehow I managed to destroy my debit card! It stopped working on Tuesday and now I feel so crippled without it! "The Man" says it will take 7-10 business days for me to get another one! So I am just holding tight until I get a new card. 

Well, I am off to bed. See you tomorrow!

The Lenten Saga: Day 2

Well, at least I do not have to come up with any fancy titles for the next month! But today was a pretty routine day. I need to do my "Caterpillar Challenge" assignment, hopefully I can get that done by the time I am finished with work tomorrow. I also need to talk to my real estate agent. Since this pre-approval thing went through, I need to get on the ball and get my house search going. I know with the state of the economy the way it is, I am taking a risk either way, but even in the immediate/medium term, investing in a home is the financially smarter thing to do versus renting.... With that being said, let the house-hunt continue! 

It was such a long day, and I have no idea why. Maybe because I also started to resume working out on my 'non-weight-training' days... Maybe that was the reason why I was so tired during choir practice, and even now, as I am writing this. I upped my vitamin and minerals intake due to my own personal Lent challenge, at the recommendation of a fitness advisor at the Gym, but I guess it will take a few days for my body to get used to me training on M-W-F, AND cardio on T-R-S-Su. All this time, I have been weight training. 

All I know is that I am going to sleep well tonight! I am hardly ever in my apartment long enough to enjoy it. I guess that is good... This lets people know I have a very active, busy, and healthy lifestyle... The only time I come home is to sleep, shower, and eat, and then I am out again! No need to clean up, not here long enough to make a mess! 

And speaking of sleep...

The Lenten Saga: Day 1

So today was a long day! From getting up early, to getting to church, and getting "ashed!" to several meetings, working out, fighting my electronic equipment in the lab since it wants to act crazy (I am slowly winning that battle! hehe), and then, get this... BACK to church to sing with the choir! 

Today marks the first day of Lent, a period of fasting and abstaining, calling to mind our sinfulness and our call to repent from our ways. So this year, I have decided to challenge myself way more than I have done in previous years. Now I will not go any further in terms of what I have given up, or what I have committed to, but it is a decent sized list. I know this: I would not have attempted this during the OSU or Southern Cal years, period! Since I have a normally routine schedule, I can establish a little bit more discipline, with ease. 

I really want to take this time before Easter and REALLY answer some tough questions, not only about the faith, but about my life. Where is it heading? Why am I single? What is my current assignments in my career preparing me for? Where are my friends? How badly do I want certain things? How long will I be here (Containment Area..... okay, Earth as well)? What better way to seek clarity, than to seek out the Lord and Savior in my daily devotions? So during this time, I will make a stronger, more concentrated effort (in addition to what I am currently doing), to deepen my relationship with Christ. With the help of the church, and those who wish to help me, I will either find my answers, or will be on the path to finding my answers.

So says this Yankee! Let the Lenten Journey Begin!

Faaaaaaaaaaaaat 'Tuesdy'

Man! I am here at champps downin hurricanes and, well, Hurricanes! I ate all my favorite foods today because of the significance of this day! Wow, I'm still sober! I need to change that! LOL tomorrow is gonna suck! Gotta get up early so why am I at champps? I have no clue. I'm with good people, I think. Oh well, time to start driving home!

Countdown to Ash Wednesday!

T-minus 2 days! Oh my goodness, the week of weeks (lol) is upon me! O woe is me, what am I to do!?! 

Okay, enough melodrama. Today I talked to a couple of fitness experts about the upcoming lenten season, and how I told them that I really want to follow the Lenten rules, which requires fasting, which requires 2 small meals and 1 large meal, where the small meals put together can not equal the large meal. So my question to them: What is an example of a large meal/small meal? and What else should I do to make this lenten process, health-friendly, while still maintaining my exercise regimen, and not dying in the process. So after we had that discussion, we established what large/small meals meant. We also acknowledged the fact that I may need to take more supplements during this time, to make sure I am getting my daily values of certain vitamins/minerals. 

I am looking forward to the challenge I have set before myself. I have observed Lent every year. During college, grad school, and even now. But I have never took it to this level. I am giving up A LOT of things. I have also made new commitments for the Lenten period, including new church and exercise commitments, and I am not talking about the Caterpillar Challenge or the intense 3-day/wk weight training! I have never pushed myself to this limit before, because I have never tried to push myself to this limit before. And I am going to see if I get some divine inspiration during this period of fasting, prayer, fellowship, and focusing on the "Kingdom Coming" and not on the "Kingdom Having Come." That is one of the many points of Lent. 

Fat Tuesday is tomorrow! I heard there was something going on at Champps. I might check it out!

Sunday Thoughts: Forgiving, Forgetting, and God

So today was a very long day, but it was well worth it.

It started at 5:00 AM. I got up took a shower, ate breakfast, ironed out my clothes that I was going to wear to church, brushing my teeth, shaving, and getting out the door! By the time that was all over, it was around 7:00AM... But where did I go from there? To Church? Not quite! See, from last week's post, I said that my nephew would like to visit my church. So how could I say no to that? So I drove all the way up to Greensboro to get him. Then I went all the way back near the Containment Area to get my niece. Then we all attended church together. 

The message for this Sunday revolves around forgiveness. The forgiveness of sin and forgetting about the sin. This is very hard to do, because we are all human. I have not mastered the art of forgiving and forgetting, but I think I am far along than many others. In one of our readings, the Lord wipes out the sins and remembers them no more. The Lord remembers them no more because to the Lord, our God, there is no difference between forgiving and forgetting. From Mark's Gospel, there is a story about the paralytic carried by four men. And when Jesus saw the faith of the four, he said to the paralytic that his sins were forgiven and to pick up his mat, and go home. He got up and went home, in front of the Pharisees that accused him of blaspheming. 

We have all done it at some point in our lives. We have sinned, badly. And acts of sin was committed against us. Some worse than others. Some out of spite, some out of hate, some unintentionally. It is important that we forgive those who have wronged us, not for them, but for ourselves. I know right, easier said than done. It can be very hard to forgive, and even harder to forget what was done, especially if it was very painful. Especially at the hands of those you love. It is easy to misguide yourself into thinking that forgiveness always involves the other person. The road to a peaceful soul, starts with honing this ability. The Lord forgives and forgets. It is a concept that we should all try to master... It is a lifetime journey.

So enough of church! Afterwards, I took my niece and nephew to PF Changs and we had ourselves a nice lil lunch! Then I took them to see Madea Goes To Jail (Again for me!). They absolutely loved it! And I was able to catch some new stuff that I did not notice from the first time I saw the movie. Then it was time for me to take my nephew back to Greensboro so he can resume his studies. During the trip, I let them talk to my mother and father, as well as my sisters. I think they had a pleasant conversation and everyone is eager to meet. I will do my best to make that a reality. So once, I dropped my nephew off, my niece asked to see where I would like to live once I put down my down-payment, so I showed her, and then we went to the grocery store and got some foodstuffs. Then dropped her off with her friends.

It was a fantastic day!

T-minus three days until Lent! 

The Caterpillar Challenge and More on Madea

So I have signed up with some of the young adults to take part in something called a "Caterpillar Challenge." It is an eight week (well now seven-ish) journey in getting back in touch with our faith, and fellowship with other young adults. Kind of like a bible study, except this series completely focuses on the Bible's book of Job. We have a book and a workbook that depicts modern day stories based off the chapters in Job. I think this is going to be interesting, especially since I could use a little more faith in my life, and with Lent around the corner, I am going to rely on a lot of faith after finalizing my "give up" list. I am in good company with the Young Adults here at Church (as well as the choir members). Besides the people that I work with as well as the people who work for the same employer as I but not 'with me,' they have shown me the only true kindness that I have ever known since my arrival months ago. That says a lot and means a lot especially since I started all over on the social and friendship fronts. It is not easy being the new person, but I will not use that as an excuse. So wish me luck as I add the caterpillar challenge onto my list of Lenten activities 2009!

Now about this Madea movie... I will try not to spoil it, but overall, I think it was an okay movie. I would rank "Why Did I Get Married" and "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" over "Madea Goes To Jail." The movie had good parts in it, but (SPOILER ALERT), Madea does not go to jail until, in my opinion, some point past the halftime point of the movie. I honestly thought it was going to be Madea giving prison women way more advice and insight on their situations and how to become better women, but there was only one instance of that... Would I go see it again, MOST DEFINITELY!!! It is still hilarious as I dunno what, so yea, I would see it again. Plus there are messages that should be shared by all audiences, regardless of ethnicity.

Staying in-house tonight. Was thinking about salsa, but I have new priorities. My nephew and niece would like to attend church with me tomorrow, but I would have to get my nephew from Greensboro early in the morning, so I need to be fully dressed and out the apartment around 7. So no partying tonight. But I think it is worth it, plus its been awhile since my niece and nephew saw each other.

Madea Goes To Jail

So today I went to go see Madea Goes to Jail. I liked it, but things took a while to progress. I'm sleepy. I'll talk more about it tomorrow

Exhausting Day!

Yes, we all have them. And today was no different. Got up early, got to work early, left work late! Choir practice, and then back to the containment area.

I guess one of the funnier parts of my day happened at lunch. I met a lady who was taking salsa classes with the same instructors that taught me. We sat down together with her friends, and we were all getting to know one another. I told them where I live, we call it "pop." And they gave me the traditional "look" when someone calls soft drinks "pop."

One of them even asked me if I knew what "Sun Tea" was, and my eyes opened wide!

It has been SOOOOOOO long since the last time my mom and dad made Sun Tea. I was just telling them all about it, and they just kept looking at me, prolly saying to themselves "he is soooo kountry!" but I do not care! Okay, they actually did say Ohioans are country, which I resent wholeheartedly, but oh well. I told them how we used glass containers and the suns heat to create the tea, etc.. etc... I told them about the traditional midwest terminology, like what "knee high by the 4th of July" meant.

Overall, it was a fun lunch. That was about the only real highlight of my day. That and choir!

Treachery, Faith, and the Lenten Journey Ahead

So today, while I was taking a break after successfully running one of my tests (el YAY!!!) I came across a link to a website that had a very interesting cartoon.

The link is: http://www.nypost.com/delonas/delonas

The cartoon depicts two cops and a dead monkey, shot by one of the officers. Then, one of the cops says "They'll have to find someone else to write the new stimulus bill."

Lets just pause for a second and use the context clues that you should have learned back in elementary school. We have

#1. An African American (Black) President who pushed for a 'stimulus' bill.
#2. A Dead Monkey after being shot by some cops
#3. Two officers (that look Caucasian): one with a gun in his hand, the other saying "They'll have to find someone else to write the new stimulus bill."

If anyone knows their history, especially about the plight of African Americans, then you should also know of the deep racial hatred that this cartoon represents. To add further insult to injury, this is what the cartoonist said on CNN while I was at the Gym starting my weight training:

"It's absolutely friggin ridiculous. Do you really think I'm saying Obama should be shot? I didn't see that in the cartoon. The chimpanzee was a major story in the Post. Every paper in New York, except The New York Times, covered the chimpanzee story. It's just ridiculous. It's about the economic stimulus bill. If you're going to make that about anybody, it would be Pelosi, which it's not."

Just to let you know, the chimpanzee story and the economic stimulus bill are two mutually exclusive events... Or, put in another way, have nothing to do with each other. So to portray a dead monkey, and talk about the stimulus bill, is to talk about our nations President. To deny that monkeys represent Black people is to deny America's racist past.

This is treacherous, and is a reminder of how far we still have to go as a nation. If I am to follow what is said in the great book, then as I say my prayers for the evening, I will throw in a special one for the cartoonist. I do not know what to say, but I will let it flow before I go to sleep tonight. Obama talked a lot about hope and faith. Basically the two are intertwined. We can not, we must not allow stuff like this to divide us further. If you are angry about this cartoon, you are not alone. I was angry about it, not anymore. Get your anger out, pray about it, if you are into prayer, forgive, if you have the courage to. Forgive them for their ignorance. Forgive them for their lack of judgment. Forgive them because that is what the Lord has taught us.

On another note, Ash Wednesday is one week away, and I am preparing for a Lenten Journey that will really test my faith and rock me to my core! I am talking about taking things to a whole new level in terms of what to give up! And I will be giving up a lot! I have not finalized my list, but it is going to be extreme! I will explain more about it when Ash Wednesday comes!

Southern Inhospitality

Today I went to the credit union at an off site location. I have my reasons, but anyways, once I arrived, and went through the first set of doors (before getting into the lobby), there was an elderly (Black) man on crutches, trying to open the inner door. He seemed like he was having a lot of difficulty. After all, he was barely moving the crutches, let alone himself. On the other side of the door, was a receptionist who was not on the phone, who could have easily went to the door, and opened it for the man, but she did not. There was another man, who had a direct view of the elderly man struggling with the crutches trying to get to the door, and he walked away. All of this I immediately noted before I approached the elderly man and told him to stop:

“Sir, allow me to open the door.” I said.

“Thank you young man,” the elder said in reply.

As I opened the door, the receptionist just sat there, looking at the two of us. As for the other man, he just stood there too, looking away. The elderly man crutched his way through the door, and I was walking alongside him.

“Go ahead of me,” says the elder. So I went.

Now, my transaction took way longer than the elderly man. Anyways, he finished before I did and started crutching his way back to the entrance. The entire time I kept looking back, and when he finally made it to the door, this is what I saw.

I saw this elderly man use the crutch as a lever to push the door open. He would push, and then he would take a couple of steps. He would then push some more, and then take more steps. All of this was in sight of several people (including myself).

There were three people closer to him than I was: the receptionist and another man and a woman, all employees. The receptionist was still at her desk in full sight of the man. She was not on the phone, and not on the computer. The man was handling a part of some money machine that he took apart (the part he had-had all the coins in it), being overlooked by the woman. All three saw this man struggling to open the door. He was a forth of the way through, when I was finished with my transaction. I walked up to him again, and told him to stop so that I can open the door for him.

Please keep in mind that this was in front of three other people who could have done the same thing.

So we (the elderly man and I) go through the first door together. Then I opened the second door for him that takes us to the parking lot.

Me: “Sir, would you like me to walk you to your car and help you with the door?”

Elder: “No, that’s okay.”

Me: “Are you sure? I can help you.”

Elder: “I’m sure. You’ve done way more than most people. God bless you. God bless you young man.”

That stuck with me throughout the day, and even now, as I am writing this.

Is this God working in mysterious ways? Somehow, I was at the right place at the right time. Yesterday, in my entry, I mentioned the fact that I went to the credit union only to be stopped by Presidents Day (yea the union was closed). I was basically doing Homer’s “DOH” for the rest of that day! Why did I need to see what I saw? What was the purpose? Was this a test of my character? I do not know. I feel like people are always testing me on that subject every day! Maybe God wanted me to come to a realization.

But then I remember asking God some time ago what the opposite of Love was, I mean the REAL opposite of Love. I thought it was Hate/Hatred but I was starting to question that. Hate seems too easy an answer. Like, that is the answer I would have said if I was a child. But I am not a child anymore. Now that I am an adult, is Hate STILL the opposite of Love?

So how did this experience provide an insight to that answer? I saw, a man, frail, elderly, on the brink of collapsing trying to open the door. I saw two people at first (and later on three), just look at him. None of them were holding anything important, none of them were busy. They just stood there. They saw him long before I entered the building, and they just ignored him. The did not stop what they were doing (the receptionist was busy doing nothing, the man had the big container of coin money in his hands, on the floor, and the lady was looking over his shoulder, all with their heads in sight of the man), and all three of them saw him struggle on the way out. But at the end, I ended up helping the man out of the credit union, through two doors, and as I looked back when the elderly man got through the second door, the receptionist and I locked eyes.

On this day, I learned that the true opposite of Love… is Indifference.

But this was a lesson I never expected to learn… In the South.