Reflections of a week gone crazy

So yes, this was a crazy week!

Normally, I am good at maintaining a strict schedule (see post on My New Old Schedule), but something happened Monday that caused a violent chain reaction to my time-management ability... I ended up working late.

And when I work late, I go to sleep late

And when I go to sleep late, I wake up later in the morning

And when I wake up later in the morning I go to work later than I want to

So instead of getting in at work at 6 in the morning this week, after that late night incursion, I was getting in around 8:30-9:00 AM.

Somehow I found the time I need to hit the gym and meet my weight training goals for the week... Alleluia!

Tuesday was a very sad day for Corporate America. Many people lost jobs. I have colleagues here and abroad that were affected. Please keep everyone who lost their jobs this week in your prayers. They have definitely been in mine. This is also a reminder that I have a lot to be thankful for. I was not affected by the job cuts, but that does not mean I need to stay stagnant in my career growth, both inside/outside of work. As an Engineer, I have a lot of skills that I am using, and skills that I am not. It is important to keep all your skills up because you will not know the day or the hour you will be called to use abilities that you had to shelve for the greater good of a project that you are assigned to. America's job cuts is a wake up call to me to let me know that there is no such thing as job security, and you need to do things to set you apart from many others.

In my profession that could vary. But the path that I will most like take is the path that will lead me to a Professional Engineers license, a PMP Certification, and an MBA, because these are my immediate, and long term goals. I want to be a future executive, whether in the company which I am employed or in my own company (as soon as I think of something GREAT!).

Wednesday my brother, his wife, and I got together and went out for dinner. It was great seeing those two, and I know better days are ahead when they get their tails to Charlotte! I can not wait for them to move! Carolina Panthers, here we come!!!

At choir practice Thursday, the director gave the ministry some deep insight on why we sing, and how powerful the words we convey in our singing truly are. If you sing the right note at the right tune, at the right moment, it can reach deep into a persons soul, and they are filled with emotion. Some cry, some are overjoyed, and some are just frozen. When you sing, you are praying twice, or something like that... I think that is the appropriate phrase, but I always find a way to 'goof' it up.

Friday, a friend from the Buckeye days came to town. I took her to dinner and we went dancing. The sista had rhythm but she "got served" by me :-) HAHAHAHAHAHAH, Okay in all actuality, she was holding her own, but I showed her how to dance a little bit of salsa... and it was not like I had to break it down to her kindergarten style. She was a quick study. Point is, she had a lot of fun, and it was great being reunited with a fellow Buckeye!

So besides the normal tutoring, and shopping for groceries, I pretty much did not do anything on Saturday. Went to church... Talked to God... Will be back tomorrow, singing with the choir. My niece will be with me to start off the new week!

Good night everyone!

Buckeyes Reunited!

Tonight I am reuniting with a young lady I have not seen since my Ohio State days. So since we were "cool enough" during undergrad I offered to take her out and have a fun filled evening with yours truly. Hope she can dance!

The Possible Date Disorder

Well, since my earlier post on "The Broken Date Syndrome" was quite a hit, some people were wondering, "well geez yankee, you said one of MANY, keep on going I want to know more."
Surprisingly, though I addressed the post to the brothas (my homies), this request for more okie-doks are coming from the women. I do not know if they are trying to use this to rate themselves or to see whether or not I am just some fella thats just 'stuck on himself,' stuck up, or a woman-hater (which I am definitely NOT!)

So peoples, here is another okie-dok I do not put up with.

Okie-Dok #2: Man asks lady out on a date, and lady answers with "maybe."

So you ask a lady out on a date, you give her a date, a time, and location because:
1. She is fine as hell.
2. You want to spend a little time with her.
3. You want to get to know her a little better.

(now fellas, if you have other reasons, feel free to list them in your head, these are the yankee's top three, okay, well only three!)

These are the basic building blocks for a date. Call it whatever you want, or whatever is the most socially acceptable vernacular term for your ethnic group.

(i.e. some ethnic groups call it "hangin' out" or 'chillin')

So how does she respond? By saying a statement like the following:
"Can I get back to you?"
"Can I call you back tomorrow?"
"Can you call me back in a few days?"
"I need to check my calendar. I'll tell you what, I will call you back tomorrow and let you know."

and my personal favorite: "Call me on --such and such date--  so I don't forget."

There are other variants to the same response but I think you understand where I am going with this. So why is this an okie-dok?

This is an okie-dok because the lady could not give a straight answer, leaves the guy hanging, and expects him to wait on her decision. Unfortunately, many fellas do. Not me though...

Once again, the guy gave the lady three things:
- A day of the week.
- A time during that day of the week.
- A location.

Think of it how business executives look at making corporate decisions. If you are given all the information to make a sound, informed, and quick judgment call, you make the call! Usually the definitive choices are 'yes' and 'no,' and if you can not commit to the proposal, but can not walk away from it either, you compromise, counter-offer, renegotiate, and contribute to a win-win scenario.

Once person A makes the initial offer, and it is complete, person B needs to have a definitive answer.

But this is not what happens in this case. Again, the lady left the guy hanging, but wants to string him along for an emotional ride.

"I may or may not be able to do it, but let me get back to you and I'll let you know," and the fella plays the waiting game.

In the social dating world, this ailment is called the Possible Date Disorder, or PDD. Just like the Broken Date Syndrome, It is not cultural, racial, gender, creed, profession, or age specific! Symptoms include indecisiveness from one party to the other, false hope, and fluctuating emotions.

So I know a lot of guys say, "Well maybe yea Yankee, she might have forgot, people are busy you know, I would have called her to see what happened."

To the fellas (and my male friends), I say, go ahead, I will not (I was not raised to do that), but you do that. And while you are doing that, here are some possible end-case scenarios for you to consider...

Possible end scenario 1: Man accepts possible-date, waits for call, never gets call, man calls woman to see what happened.
-- You are one desperate person if you call her at all after you offered to take her out on a date and she played you like that. Do not settle for someone that can not work with you, or give you a definitive answer.

Possible end scenario 2: Man accepts possible-date, gets call back tomorrow, but she can not go and turns you down.
-- This means that she wants YOU to wait on her to tell you No. By falling for this trap, she made you wait to get rejected.

Possible end scenario 3: Man accepts possible-date, guy calls girl on day of date, and can not get a hold of her.
-- Hmm, can not get a hold of the lady you are trying to take out... So you end up calling and calling and calling, and no answer. This can happen fellas, and to some of my friends, it has happened. She basically forgot about you, and you are dateless, once again.

Possible end scenario 4: Man accepts possible-date, guy calls girl on day of date, and she says that she 'forgot.'
--This basically means you were not worth remembering, and she most likely have made other plans with someone else, see scenario 3.

There are other end scenario's with the vast majority of them not in the guy's favor. It is extremely rare to have a successful date if she does not give you a yes or no answer or does not try to reach some sort of compromise (will talk about this at another time). So what is this relocated yankee's stance on the 'possible-date':

When this Yankee offers a date, and the lady in question responds with a 'maybe,' answer, it is translated as a 'no,' PERIOD.

When I offer to take a woman out on a date, and she answers with "maybe," I let her take all the time she needs. By the time she calls me back, if she ever calls me back, I would have made other plans (do not test me on this). If you fall for that okie-dok, you are purposely waiting on her. You are putting a lot up-front without any guarantee of a return, by blocking that time out just for her (she did not do the same for you) with the hope that she will call you back to accept. Most of the time it does not happen. Never put all your dating eggs in one basket. If she gives you the okie-dok, find another woman that will say yes (or no), or make plans with your homies, or do something yourself, either way, you stay busy. 

Now I know you would rather spend your time with the maybe girl (because she is hotter than the barrel of Dick Cheney's gun), but you maybe want to consider the fact that waiting on indecisive women and reacting to their indecisiveness (by following up on them, checking up, calling to see what happened etc...), says a lot about YOU in a negative way. It shows a lack of confidence on the guy's part, and a lack of self control. 

A decisive man will always be better off with a decisive woman, case closed. So if you are a decisive man, and you meet an indecisive woman, you now know that she needs to do a little more growing up, but it is something she has to do on her own. 

The chances the 'maybe' girl's number is still in my phonebook is basically zero. 

So why is this my stance? Because it does not allow me to get hurt, and I refuse to be hurt by some woman I just met. It also allows me to be fair to other women with potential by offering them a date instead. Indecisive Ladies: if you see a good thing in front of you and you pass up the opportunity to get to know a great guy, the decisive ladies will be more than happy to take that opportunity away from you! 

If I have to choose between a woman that can not make up her mind versus a woman that can, there is no choice! 

Also take this statement to heart: I have more respect for women that turn me down with a 'no' than those who respond with a 'maybe.' 

Most likely I will not keep that woman's number either but at least I will still respect her.

Time is precious, and a woman who has respect for a man's time will not keep him hanging. Classy women keep dates, or work with the man to make a date a reality, or tell him 'no' but she will never give him an ambiguous answer. 

She will tell him yes, no, or 'yes, but at another time, place, and location.'

Now, that third option represents the building blocks for a (true) compromise. I will write more about social dating compromises another time, but the okie-dok in this case was conveyed well enough.

Choir Pracice time!

A Big Surprise from Big Brother!

Oh Wow!

I was going to make this blog a joint posting about my encounter with my brother and his wife, and another dating okie-dok, but I am going to have to set aside the okie-dok for another day! 

So it is not often that I see my older brother. So I was extremely elated that he was in the area along with his wife. We finally got reunited and we dined at a nice Italian restaurant. We both had a lot of news to tell each other. On my end, I told him and his wife, that I will be a home owner this year! So my brother, also a realtor was giving me tips and pointers on how to negotiate some of the things I may want in my home. Great advice! We also talked about what was going on back in the North with family... The good, bad, and ugly. It was a necessary conversation. 

But after that, they told me the most exciting news! They are moving... to...

C-H-A-R-L-O-T-T-E

Charlotte, North Carolina! Can you believe it!?!?!?!?!?! More family coming to the region! I will be honest with you, when I first moved to the Containment Area, I did not know of any family that existed here. Oh I had a couple of friends from Undergrad that were here, but I hardly saw any of them. And since I was starting over on the social front, the dating list was pretty slim. Then a couple of months later, I received news that my (step)sister lives in North Carolina, and has children my age here! At that point, I did not feel as alone as I used to. We reunited for the first time, and it was enough to make a grown man cry (and yes, I did cry). 

And now this!?! I have a MAJOR reason to go to Charlotte now, well, when they finally move there. I can just see us going to Panther and Bobcat games, and having a blast. This changes a lot of things! 

So from dinner, my brother, his wife, and I talked about my activities, everything from sports, to dancing, to even singing. But they were more interested in my dating life and were shocked when I told them about my adventures here and how socially, it is not panning out so well. I would tell them how some of my interactions went, what they (the ladies) would do (the okie-doks), and how I responded to those situations. They were very disappointed........ in the ladies. I wish some of you could have been there to hear me describe a lot of what I have been encountering. To summarize, as a young and humble, early-career, educated man, who can maintain himself, I am not respected, seen as the husband-type, or worth a their time.

If you want an abridged version of that summary, read only the bold words! 

They are so used to losing, they do not even realize when they have won. 

So I told my brother and his wife that all I can do is keep going, smiling, meet new people, and treat them all the same: with class, dignity, and respect, for that was how I was raised. However, I allow every lady I meet to give me a reason for no longer pursuing them, and they have been more than generous in that department. Once I have the reason, I take no further action on that particular lady, and move on. It is the most respectful, and classy thing to do. Like I mentioned in an earlier post... GREAT home training, Mom and Dad did their thing in raising me! It is amazing how many t-bills, savings bonds, mutual funds, stocks, and commodities you can save by not falling for the 'okie-dok.' Trust me... I have saved so much I can afford a house! Where do you think my down-payment came from ;-)

Okie-dok #2 tomorrow! I promise!!! Have a blessed night!

An Unexpected Surprise...

Well, as you may or may not know, today, a lot of jobs got slashed from many companies across the country. You can go to CNN.COM and then click on the business link(s) to see all those gory details. If you are concerned about this yankee, well fear not. I was not affected. I can only thank God for this blessing. America is going through some tough times, and I fear that it will get worse before it gets better. 

Well, today I received the most wonderful news! My brother called me and told me that he was in town! So tomorrow, my brother, his wife, and I will be enjoying dinner somewhere... I do not know where yet. 

Tomorrow, I will talk about my brothers visit, and then I will give my fellow yankee readers another dating "okie-dok" to be aware of.

Busy Day, Busy Night!

Wow, what a day! Not only did I get into work very early, I got out... VERY LATE! I just got in the apartment, and I am just starting dinner... Oh, and here is the best part... I AM NOT DONE WORKING YET!!! I just have to do one last (little) thing work-related and then I can enjoy the rest of my evening.

So while I have some chicken (3 separate pieces, one seasoned with lemon and herb, one seasoned with Caribbean Jerk, one seasoned with plain chicken seasoning) baking in the oven, rice cooking, and veggies steaming, I am going to take a very quick break and write this entry.

So I was telling some of my co-workers about yesterday's blog posting, and they were all dying! It was one of those things that you have to hear for yourself to get the full effect of the conversation I had with this client. Personally, I thought it was hilarious. When I look back at my top 10 memories for the year, I think this one will stick out (it will definitely be a top 10). 

I have officially started my house hunting adventure, by taking a huge step towards home ownership... I called the mortgage people. And guess what? Yours truly is in there! I was so surprised on how much of a buyers market this is, and the rate I got was, to me, phenomenal! Now I will not divulge personal financial information, but lets just say that, it is looking REALLY good!

I found an area in the Containment Area that I really-really like. For several reasons:

1. It is very close to a major highway! :-D

2. It is very close to work! :-D

3. To get to my church, I literally make one left turn and one right turn... GAME OVER! :-D

4. There is a GREAT grocery store nearby :-D :-D :-D

5. It is in a developing community that will be well established by the time I sell my home several years down the road. :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

But of course, I am open to living in other areas outside the Containment Area. As long as it is close to where I work, a major highway, and church. It is going to be difficult for other areas to match this subdivision. But we shall see!

Now I have to go! I have to get back in the kitchen and then get this one last work item done, maybe I can eat... One thing is for certain... Lights out at 9!

Peace!

An Interesting Conversation...

Greetings! 

This is how a conversation went with a prospective client for my freelance tutoring initiative:

Prospect: Hello?

Me:  Hi! This is (Relocated Yankee). How are you?

Prospect: Fine. So we have decided to go with you.

Me: Excellent

-- This is where I asked some technical questions and got more details -- 2-3 minutes later...

Prospect: Excellent. I just have one more question for you.

Me: Go ahead.

Prospect: Are you comfortable with tutoring (name of ethnic group) people?

Me: I am (name of ethnic group).

-- Prospect Laughs, embarrassed, I am laughing along with her --

So yea, I was going to write about what I learned in church today, but this was too hilarious! People. I am an equal-opportunity worker, dater, lover, service-provider. I do not discriminate. Especially in the dating category (had to throw that one in there). So if you do your thing, I will do mine. If we are to live in a world where we are not judged by the color of our skin but by the content of our character, that ideal must trickle all the way down to the heart and soul of a person. In that regard, that ideal starts with me. I will hold onto that for as long as I can, and will teach the next generation of (Relocated) Yankees the same thing!

One step closer to Kum-Bay-Yah!