Southern Inhospitality

Today I went to the credit union at an off site location. I have my reasons, but anyways, once I arrived, and went through the first set of doors (before getting into the lobby), there was an elderly (Black) man on crutches, trying to open the inner door. He seemed like he was having a lot of difficulty. After all, he was barely moving the crutches, let alone himself. On the other side of the door, was a receptionist who was not on the phone, who could have easily went to the door, and opened it for the man, but she did not. There was another man, who had a direct view of the elderly man struggling with the crutches trying to get to the door, and he walked away. All of this I immediately noted before I approached the elderly man and told him to stop:

“Sir, allow me to open the door.” I said.

“Thank you young man,” the elder said in reply.

As I opened the door, the receptionist just sat there, looking at the two of us. As for the other man, he just stood there too, looking away. The elderly man crutched his way through the door, and I was walking alongside him.

“Go ahead of me,” says the elder. So I went.

Now, my transaction took way longer than the elderly man. Anyways, he finished before I did and started crutching his way back to the entrance. The entire time I kept looking back, and when he finally made it to the door, this is what I saw.

I saw this elderly man use the crutch as a lever to push the door open. He would push, and then he would take a couple of steps. He would then push some more, and then take more steps. All of this was in sight of several people (including myself).

There were three people closer to him than I was: the receptionist and another man and a woman, all employees. The receptionist was still at her desk in full sight of the man. She was not on the phone, and not on the computer. The man was handling a part of some money machine that he took apart (the part he had-had all the coins in it), being overlooked by the woman. All three saw this man struggling to open the door. He was a forth of the way through, when I was finished with my transaction. I walked up to him again, and told him to stop so that I can open the door for him.

Please keep in mind that this was in front of three other people who could have done the same thing.

So we (the elderly man and I) go through the first door together. Then I opened the second door for him that takes us to the parking lot.

Me: “Sir, would you like me to walk you to your car and help you with the door?”

Elder: “No, that’s okay.”

Me: “Are you sure? I can help you.”

Elder: “I’m sure. You’ve done way more than most people. God bless you. God bless you young man.”

That stuck with me throughout the day, and even now, as I am writing this.

Is this God working in mysterious ways? Somehow, I was at the right place at the right time. Yesterday, in my entry, I mentioned the fact that I went to the credit union only to be stopped by Presidents Day (yea the union was closed). I was basically doing Homer’s “DOH” for the rest of that day! Why did I need to see what I saw? What was the purpose? Was this a test of my character? I do not know. I feel like people are always testing me on that subject every day! Maybe God wanted me to come to a realization.

But then I remember asking God some time ago what the opposite of Love was, I mean the REAL opposite of Love. I thought it was Hate/Hatred but I was starting to question that. Hate seems too easy an answer. Like, that is the answer I would have said if I was a child. But I am not a child anymore. Now that I am an adult, is Hate STILL the opposite of Love?

So how did this experience provide an insight to that answer? I saw, a man, frail, elderly, on the brink of collapsing trying to open the door. I saw two people at first (and later on three), just look at him. None of them were holding anything important, none of them were busy. They just stood there. They saw him long before I entered the building, and they just ignored him. The did not stop what they were doing (the receptionist was busy doing nothing, the man had the big container of coin money in his hands, on the floor, and the lady was looking over his shoulder, all with their heads in sight of the man), and all three of them saw him struggle on the way out. But at the end, I ended up helping the man out of the credit union, through two doors, and as I looked back when the elderly man got through the second door, the receptionist and I locked eyes.

On this day, I learned that the true opposite of Love… is Indifference.

But this was a lesson I never expected to learn… In the South.