The Broken Date Syndrome

Another Sunday, here and gone. It would have been a routine Sunday, except someone from church asked me if I had made any new friends since my arrival, and by new friends, new 'lady' friends. I had to carefully explain my dating philosophy, and it nearly erupted into a 10 minute conversation (I had this person rollin'). So I basically told this young adult that I am not the type of man that falls for a lot of these ladies "okie dok's." Here is one of many (and there are MANY!!!) I do not put up with. I will try to keep it general, even though I can attest to what I am about to write from personal experience.

- Lady 'communicates' to man that a date previously arranged from the man needs to be rescheduled.

I want you to pay very close attention to that okie dok. Because from that one, you can deduct a lot of things. 

First, the man wants to spend time with this woman. At some point in time, they met, maybe exchanged numbers, and calls her up to take her out on a date. So he gives her 3 things:

- A day of the week

- A time during that day of the week

- A location

It was something that the lady committed to. Then out of the blue, she communicates that they (or we) need to reschedule. This could take place in the form of a voicemail, a text message, an email... Why is this an okie-dok?

This is an okie-dok because she left it very open ended. 

Yes, the guy gave the lady 3 things, but all she said was, "we gotta do this another time." Whatever the reason, she kept it very general, and did not give the guy any details as to what this 'another time' entails. Even if she did give an explanation, but in the end does not try to make up for a commitment she broke, that man really needs to ask himself if that is the type of woman he wants in his life.

  Hint (fellas): if she can not honor a commitment to a 1-2 hr outing with YOU, what makes YOU think she can commit to something more?

In the social world, this illness is called The Broken Date Syndrome. It is not cultural, racial, gender, creed, or age specific! It is the culmination of a lack of integrity from one person to another. And fellas, if you just met that hottie, and she proves that she has this illness, then you need to drop her and move on. 

So what is this Relocated Yankee's stance on The Broken Date Syndrome?

Women who commit, then break a date with me, without trying to make up for it right then and there when they commit the act do not last long in my phone book, or in my personal life. 

Adopting this hard line stance has prevented more problems than it created because I am a quality man and I want quality relationships with quality women. Next to physically striking me, breaking a date is the most disrespectful thing a woman can do not only to me, but to any man. It shows immaturity, a lack of judgment, and no integrity on her part. 

We are no longer children. When you break something, you fix it. When we were children, and we broke the cookie jar, our parents fixed it for us (after a nice tail beating!). We are adults now, if we break something at this point in time, is mom and dad going to come to your rescue? For most mature adults, the answer will be no. So, like I said, if you break it, you fix it. 

When you have this knowledge and apply it in "the field" it sucks when you get that call from that lady that says she needs to cancel or reschedule, and all you hear after those words are the sounds of crickets... You want to give her some hints so badly as to what SHE needs to do (after all she's fine as hell! everything about her turns you on), but you can not. This is her moment. This is her chance to show you if she is worth pursuing further... Fellas, if she offers to make it up to you, AND she gives you a date, place, and time, keep her, because that is what you gave her, she realizes this, wants to spend time with you, and wants to make you feel that your effort to spend time with her was well received. If she breaks, and does not give you those three specific items (yes, she must give you all three, on her own, you can not help her at this point), my recommendation would be to politely end the conversation as you see fit, hang up the phone, delete the phone number, and move on. 

For you deserve better. Keep searching for your Queen!

Good Night!