A Theory as to why God led me to the Containment Area (Part I)

Today was a normal, not too exciting, but not too boring day. I pretty much followed my new "old" schedule to the letter, except for the working out part (Only train on M,W,F). Choir practice was pretty normal, but afterwards, I sat in the pew and just started thinking. 

Just thinking...

I am here, in the Containment Area, for a reason. All the events that happened in my past (the good, bad, and ugly), shaped my life--my decisions. I do believe that I was influenced by the Almighty. I am trying to hear the silent whisper, in the midst of the wind, earthquake, and fire. 

I think I am here to excel in my career. From day one, I have enjoyed working with my colleagues, even though my primary skill set is not being used (all my secondary skills are). I think that this is a humbling experience reminding me that there is more to succeeding in this profession than the specialized focus of one's graduate school study. I am seeing my field in a whole new light, and direction. I am learning things that I never learned in school (neither at Ohio St or Southern Cal) as well as becoming a better communicator and well rounded person. Sometimes I wish someone would just come to me and ask me to solve a transistor-level circuit design problem, or ask for insight on solving a real-world complex oscillator problem using the latest foundry technologies--Little stuff like that to really keep what I learned at USC in my head for as long as I possibly can. At the same time, there is something about working with and collaborating with people, that for me, gets better and better the more I am exposed to it, and the desire to enhance my resume for my eventual return to graduate school (MBA) is getting stronger and stronger.  

 I think I am here to find my wife. Shocking is it not!?! Nowhere near 30, but a desire for family is getting stronger. Maybe because I remember a time when my immediate family was very close-knit. But a lot has changed, and the jury is still out while trying to answer if these changes were for the better. Usually when the man marries, he leaves his family. The man and woman become one flesh (I think I read that somewhere). But a part of me feels so distant, not because I left for college, interned throughout the States, lived in California for a couple of years, and now residing in the Containment Area, but partially because the ideals that made my family a great one, seem to have gone out the window when troubled times came to 'trial' our souls. It is almost as if the family has left the man. I am not sure how to feel about that, but I know it is not a positive feeling, but one of indifference. 

Still, I hold on to positive memories, but even those memories are getting old. If I want to experience new ones based off the same kind of close-knit, peaceful, Christ-centered, 'family-oriented' family that I experienced as a child, then maybe it is time for me to have one of my own. 

But not yet... 

When I started dating again, I am seeing a lot of things that I DO NOT LIKE when it comes to the women I have 'encounters' with. That is why I said that I think I am here to find a wife... So far from every encounter, there is something the woman does that I really do not like and it sticks out like the worst sore thumb. Like Mr. Deeds' 'foot.' I hate that, but at the same time, I also feel that it is good for me to eliminate the traits/habits I do not like. I have not had a real opportunity to do this with such scrutiny, until now. 

Mom and Dad raised me well, to their credit, but they also did not raise a fool. They raised me the best way they knew how: by how they were raised, which I must say is pretty old world. They told me that the women of my day will take my rearing for granted and that they will not see my true worth, and while unfortunate, I must NOT fall into the trap of making excuses for them. "Defend ideals, not excuses," they tell me (I changed that to 'defend philosophies, not excuses') They will categorize before experiencing (me), and/or take actions whether consciously or unconsciously to undermine my opportunity to shine for them. 

Such has been my experience so far. All I can do, from here on out, is to keep on going. Keep looking, keep smiling, keep living!

This entry is part of an ongoing saga. Look for Parts II, III, IIII, .......  in the days, weeks, and months ahead.