Guess who's back?
After a long hiatus?
After closing on a home, moving, relocating, moving some more, and relocating more?
After getting all the finances straight and transferred and accounts setup for the new home?
After leaving one part of the Containment Area.... to live in another part of the Containment Area?
You guessed it! I AM BACK PEOPLES!!!
So I just finished the moving in process and getting things switched over to the new address. I had no idea how much work that really was. Obviously some things had to be sacrificed temporarily... And after a long and lengthy debate, it was decided that blogging was the sacrifice I should make to accomplish everything I need to get done.
Right decision!
There were so many nights during the move that I was so tired, I just laid my head down and that did me in! Plus I moved all by myself, packing the car and making multiple trips when I could during work weeks. Got a little help from work colleagues when it came to getting rid of my couch. I did not stop exercising (thank God) during that whole time... Yea, I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness... I heard that in a song somewhere, hehe.
But no worries. I am BACK! These are exciting times and so much has happened despite the move -- in religious development, social development, and of course, my physical AND mental development.
Right now I am up bright and early because my nieces are graduating from school today. So I need to hit the gym early, and then go to their graduation. Great times to be an uncle I guess, hehe.
Dating season is around the corner and I am going to see what the pool is looking like this time around. Last year sucked but the grass is always greener (smirks... I mean smiles).
This is going to be one helluva summer! One HELLUVA dating season!
Showing posts with label social. Show all posts
Showing posts with label social. Show all posts
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
The Lenten Saga: Day 17
Well, I know I am still going through my Lenten Journey, but I also said last week that I will write another social dating okie-dok note, and here it is!!!
So from the Yankee that brought you "The Broken Date Syndrome" and "The Possible Date Disorder" here is another okie-dok that I do not put up with.
Okie-Dok #3: Lady keeps mementos (pictures etc...) of past loves in her home while dating men.
So I recently told a friend of mine a story about one of the women I dated . I told him how we hit it off, exchanged numbers, and for the first couple of dates, I would go and pick her up, but I would never go into her residence when I walked her to her door. You know, being the true gentleman that I am. We were progressing. We had already held hands, shared a kiss, you know how I do! You will be surprised how far a little charisma and youthful and gentleman-like qualities will take you with a woman. And fellas, she was no duck! And fellas that know me, have you ever seen me with anyone that quacks? (LOLOLOL). Anyways, about one week after our last date, right when I was about to call her (to ask her out on another date) she calls me and invites me over for dinner, sweet talking me and saying things like "You deserve this, because you've been so good to me," and "I'm glad men like you still exist," "You are worth it," Bla bla bla bla bla...
Hey, I was not going to complain, it was almost as if she read my mind and beat me to the punch. To make it even scarier, the day and time of this dinner was the exact day and time I was going to ask her had I asked her out on the next date! A woman making dinner for me! This was before Obama's "Change you can believe in!" I was liking this... And everything was good.... Right up to the point when for the first time, I entered her residence... for the last time.
I saw one of those wall frames that got like 10-20 different slots for different photos and I saw quite a few guys, and pictures of her hugged up on some of them. This is how the conversation went:
Yankee (me): "Wow! You told me that you had a huge family... Are all of these your brothers and nephews? I am assuming those are your parents, and that is probably your sister..."
Woman (her): "Yea, thats my mom and dad, and thats my sister, but those aren't my brothers, those are some of my ex's that I keep in contact with."
Yankee (me): "You still keep in contact with your ex's?"
Woman (her): "Yea, this one called me a couple of days ago all drunk and !@#@! He wants to see me this weekend. I told him I'll go. I aint seen him in awhile."
DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Thats WTF spelled out just in case you were getting confused)
It was bad enough that she had her ex's on the wall, but the fact that she was receiving drunk calls from her ex's was more than I was willing to put up with. Now I have my own view on the drunk call, but this note is about past loves, and she basically gave me a double whammy!
Now, my (male) friends and I had a HEATED discussion about women and their past-love mementos. Of course this conversation took place years after this dating encounter (circa near present day!). One of my boys was pissed that his girlfriend kept pictures of some of her ex's all out and about her apartment, and they have been exclusive for about a year. From the exchange from this brotha to the group, he relayed to us that she was telling him that there was no effing reason for him to be all jealous like that and to be a man and grow up because "you need to get off that petty !@$!@." He told us he then apologized to his woman, and promised to never bring it up again, but he was still very bothered by the situation. So when he told us this, I asked another brotha what he thought and he told me that there really shouldn't be a reason to keep pictures like that around. All the other brothas were shaking their head... at the man who apologized, they thought he took the @#$#@ way out. In my view, I think he did too.
So why are the pictures of past loves and mementos an okie-dok?
It is an okie-dok because the woman is trying to convince the man that she living in the present with evidence of the contrary. In other words, she is still stuck in the past.
Some people find it hard to let go of great times and great memories with people they gave their hearts to. But whether you were the dumper or the dumped part of you feels damaged. So to move on, you think about all the great times you had with the people you are no longer seeing. The way they look, their smile... Let the right Luther Vandross song come on while you are looking at your last ex from a box of memories, and you will be in tears. But then, after several months, you start going out again, but you did not get rid of the pictures. Then you meet a guy that you really like, and after you two go out, quite a few times it gets serious to the point where you start inviting him over to your place. Sometimes you try to be smart and you hide the photos, you put them in a box, or you still keep one by your bedside, in the room where your new love is forbidden to go. Or you have the type of mentality that you are not going to make changes to your home layout and if some guy you are dating thinks that having pictures of your ex's around the place is weird, you are ready to fire your shots!
In the Social Dating world, this ailment is called the Ex-Defect. Just like the Broken Date Syndrome, and the Possible Date Disorder, it is not cultural, racial, gender, creed, profession, or age specific! Symptoms include a spirit and body in the present, with a mind trapped in the social-dating mental ecstasy that is the past. Symptoms also include increased aggression against men who found the balls to confront you on the ailments aided to keep you Ex-Defective (pictures mostly, but pictures and mementos of your past loves) who are trying to cure you!
Yea, you people (men and women) did not know that was a disease huh?
So what is this Relocated Yankee's stance on the Ex-Defect?
When it has been established that the woman I am dating has not / can not / will not let go of her past for our present, we have no future together. She is no longer in my life, and I will not look back!
This is a very aggressive stance. Would you fellas like to know why I am able to sleep so GREAT at night? Because lets admit it men, women dominate our minds, especially the ones that do not know what they want, you know, the ones where the light bulb has not gone off yet in their head to get it together, so they end up messing with your emotions? you know? the ones that love to play games and we let them because WE want them so badly!!! They love speaking in tongues and I do not mean French kissing or being caught up with the Holy Ghost at church!
So when you bring up the issue of past loves (only when YOU have visual confirmation of the proof, DO NOT ASK BEFOREHAND), a majority of the time, I have found that the conversation somehow gets flipped (the longer you engage the woman on this) so that you feel bad. YOU end up feeling bad because she convinced you that YOU were showing signs of jealousy... When in fact you had every right to be concerned. You have every right to be concerned because you are trying to be a contender for her present (and possibly future). You two can not exist in two different time periods! There is no way!
Fella, at what price are you willing to pay for a woman that does nothing but play you (and having photos/mementos of past loves while being with you, whether you are casually or exclusively dating, is a definite indicator that YOU are being played)? Is there a woman out there worth YOU losing your own self respect and dignity? Good luck selling that pitch to me!
Anyways to answer the question about why I sleep great at night... I sleep GREAT at night, because I do not allow the things women do, 99% of the time intentionally, to consume my mind... Thus she does not dominate my mind! Because I am able to identify their issues EARLY, drop them, and move on. I drop them because they have issues that THEY need to resolve, for themselves. I can not help her, and she should have all of that resolved before she gave me her number!
Look, I desire great relationships, with great women. Keywords: GREAT RELATIONSHIPS, GREAT WOMEN. The women I want, lives in the present, and the woman that chooses me knows that she will not have to deal with any baggage from my end coming into a relationship... Can that woman make the same guarantee if she is clinging on physical evidence of old memories from a relationship gone wrong?
I make it so simple to the women here (in the area) people are shocked (and some of my close friends are) at the fact that I have not been clubbed over the head and drug back to THEIR house! LOL!
Here is why: Whatever great memories I had with my ex's died the day we broke up. There is no evidence of their existence in my home or in my life. The photos and cards were burned, the gifts were destroyed, their numbers deleted! I think of what they did (via breakup) as paving the way for someone better to come into your life. Besides, they made the decision to become a part of my past, and I have made the decision to keep them there. And when I meet that new love, she can focus on complimenting me in her own special way, and not have to feel like she is doing any kind of damage control... AND she can sleep very easily at night knowing that she will not be compared because there is nothing/no other female from my she can be compared to!
Why? (Caution, you are about to read an ENGINEER's answer)
Because I make the best attempt to remove all possible margins for error (comparison)!
In the post-girlfriend time frame, when I date a woman, I do it with class! The last thing I want to do (fellas, this should also be the last thing you want to do too) is make the woman that chooses to date me feel like she is competing with my past. How can you put that woman first if she ever feels like she is competing with past loves? I put all of that to rest because I have no reminders of that past in my present.
Why?
Because I desire new memories!
Why?
Because I want better memories!
Why?
Because I deserve better and I must give the woman who chooses to date me (because I am a firm believer that although men do the picking, women do the choosing) every opportunity within my boundaries to make her shine in that memories category!
Question! Can that woman make the same guarantee with a photo of her ex lover at her bedside? or with a box full of pictures buried in the depths of her closet?
Fellas, when you are dating a woman, and you find out about these "past-ex" mementos, how much (of a 1-sided) sacrifice (in dignity and self-respect) are YOU willing to make to find out the answer to the above statement and question for yourself?
Here is how the rest of the conversation went after she said that she was going to see this ex.
Yankee (Me): You know, its funny, I dated someone just like you once, who had a shrine just like this (points to wall of photos). 'Imma' save you some time.
Now, the above saying is true, but that is a whole different story. I gained a lot of wisdom from another failed dating experience where I was not quick enough to identify the okie-dok right in front of me, and this woman and I went back and forth, back and forth on the issue, and it ended with me walking out angry, pissed off, upset, and complaining to some of my male friends who at the time did not have any real advice to give me. I even lost a lot of sleep... I was a wreck... but my how I have evolved! This experience shaped (along with dad's advice that day, as well as 'Majors') my official dating philosophy position on women who can not let go. And when the situation happened again, I saved myself a lot of drama. After all, until she says "I do" I must always safeguard myself first. Yea, I remember this like it was yesterday, and I even wrote it how I said it, 'Engrish' and all, LOL!
Either way, these are NOT the words of a 'playa,' but of a Yankee, Relocated!
So from the Yankee that brought you "The Broken Date Syndrome" and "The Possible Date Disorder" here is another okie-dok that I do not put up with.
Okie-Dok #3: Lady keeps mementos (pictures etc...) of past loves in her home while dating men.
So I recently told a friend of mine a story about one of the women I dated . I told him how we hit it off, exchanged numbers, and for the first couple of dates, I would go and pick her up, but I would never go into her residence when I walked her to her door. You know, being the true gentleman that I am. We were progressing. We had already held hands, shared a kiss, you know how I do! You will be surprised how far a little charisma and youthful and gentleman-like qualities will take you with a woman. And fellas, she was no duck! And fellas that know me, have you ever seen me with anyone that quacks? (LOLOLOL). Anyways, about one week after our last date, right when I was about to call her (to ask her out on another date) she calls me and invites me over for dinner, sweet talking me and saying things like "You deserve this, because you've been so good to me," and "I'm glad men like you still exist," "You are worth it," Bla bla bla bla bla...
Hey, I was not going to complain, it was almost as if she read my mind and beat me to the punch. To make it even scarier, the day and time of this dinner was the exact day and time I was going to ask her had I asked her out on the next date! A woman making dinner for me! This was before Obama's "Change you can believe in!" I was liking this... And everything was good.... Right up to the point when for the first time, I entered her residence... for the last time.
I saw one of those wall frames that got like 10-20 different slots for different photos and I saw quite a few guys, and pictures of her hugged up on some of them. This is how the conversation went:
Yankee (me): "Wow! You told me that you had a huge family... Are all of these your brothers and nephews? I am assuming those are your parents, and that is probably your sister..."
Woman (her): "Yea, thats my mom and dad, and thats my sister, but those aren't my brothers, those are some of my ex's that I keep in contact with."
Yankee (me): "You still keep in contact with your ex's?"
Woman (her): "Yea, this one called me a couple of days ago all drunk and !@#@! He wants to see me this weekend. I told him I'll go. I aint seen him in awhile."
DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Thats WTF spelled out just in case you were getting confused)
It was bad enough that she had her ex's on the wall, but the fact that she was receiving drunk calls from her ex's was more than I was willing to put up with. Now I have my own view on the drunk call, but this note is about past loves, and she basically gave me a double whammy!
Now, my (male) friends and I had a HEATED discussion about women and their past-love mementos. Of course this conversation took place years after this dating encounter (circa near present day!). One of my boys was pissed that his girlfriend kept pictures of some of her ex's all out and about her apartment, and they have been exclusive for about a year. From the exchange from this brotha to the group, he relayed to us that she was telling him that there was no effing reason for him to be all jealous like that and to be a man and grow up because "you need to get off that petty !@$!@." He told us he then apologized to his woman, and promised to never bring it up again, but he was still very bothered by the situation. So when he told us this, I asked another brotha what he thought and he told me that there really shouldn't be a reason to keep pictures like that around. All the other brothas were shaking their head... at the man who apologized, they thought he took the @#$#@ way out. In my view, I think he did too.
So why are the pictures of past loves and mementos an okie-dok?
It is an okie-dok because the woman is trying to convince the man that she living in the present with evidence of the contrary. In other words, she is still stuck in the past.
Some people find it hard to let go of great times and great memories with people they gave their hearts to. But whether you were the dumper or the dumped part of you feels damaged. So to move on, you think about all the great times you had with the people you are no longer seeing. The way they look, their smile... Let the right Luther Vandross song come on while you are looking at your last ex from a box of memories, and you will be in tears. But then, after several months, you start going out again, but you did not get rid of the pictures. Then you meet a guy that you really like, and after you two go out, quite a few times it gets serious to the point where you start inviting him over to your place. Sometimes you try to be smart and you hide the photos, you put them in a box, or you still keep one by your bedside, in the room where your new love is forbidden to go. Or you have the type of mentality that you are not going to make changes to your home layout and if some guy you are dating thinks that having pictures of your ex's around the place is weird, you are ready to fire your shots!
In the Social Dating world, this ailment is called the Ex-Defect. Just like the Broken Date Syndrome, and the Possible Date Disorder, it is not cultural, racial, gender, creed, profession, or age specific! Symptoms include a spirit and body in the present, with a mind trapped in the social-dating mental ecstasy that is the past. Symptoms also include increased aggression against men who found the balls to confront you on the ailments aided to keep you Ex-Defective (pictures mostly, but pictures and mementos of your past loves) who are trying to cure you!
Yea, you people (men and women) did not know that was a disease huh?
So what is this Relocated Yankee's stance on the Ex-Defect?
When it has been established that the woman I am dating has not / can not / will not let go of her past for our present, we have no future together. She is no longer in my life, and I will not look back!
This is a very aggressive stance. Would you fellas like to know why I am able to sleep so GREAT at night? Because lets admit it men, women dominate our minds, especially the ones that do not know what they want, you know, the ones where the light bulb has not gone off yet in their head to get it together, so they end up messing with your emotions? you know? the ones that love to play games and we let them because WE want them so badly!!! They love speaking in tongues and I do not mean French kissing or being caught up with the Holy Ghost at church!
So when you bring up the issue of past loves (only when YOU have visual confirmation of the proof, DO NOT ASK BEFOREHAND), a majority of the time, I have found that the conversation somehow gets flipped (the longer you engage the woman on this) so that you feel bad. YOU end up feeling bad because she convinced you that YOU were showing signs of jealousy... When in fact you had every right to be concerned. You have every right to be concerned because you are trying to be a contender for her present (and possibly future). You two can not exist in two different time periods! There is no way!
Fella, at what price are you willing to pay for a woman that does nothing but play you (and having photos/mementos of past loves while being with you, whether you are casually or exclusively dating, is a definite indicator that YOU are being played)? Is there a woman out there worth YOU losing your own self respect and dignity? Good luck selling that pitch to me!
Anyways to answer the question about why I sleep great at night... I sleep GREAT at night, because I do not allow the things women do, 99% of the time intentionally, to consume my mind... Thus she does not dominate my mind! Because I am able to identify their issues EARLY, drop them, and move on. I drop them because they have issues that THEY need to resolve, for themselves. I can not help her, and she should have all of that resolved before she gave me her number!
Look, I desire great relationships, with great women. Keywords: GREAT RELATIONSHIPS, GREAT WOMEN. The women I want, lives in the present, and the woman that chooses me knows that she will not have to deal with any baggage from my end coming into a relationship... Can that woman make the same guarantee if she is clinging on physical evidence of old memories from a relationship gone wrong?
I make it so simple to the women here (in the area) people are shocked (and some of my close friends are) at the fact that I have not been clubbed over the head and drug back to THEIR house! LOL!
Here is why: Whatever great memories I had with my ex's died the day we broke up. There is no evidence of their existence in my home or in my life. The photos and cards were burned, the gifts were destroyed, their numbers deleted! I think of what they did (via breakup) as paving the way for someone better to come into your life. Besides, they made the decision to become a part of my past, and I have made the decision to keep them there. And when I meet that new love, she can focus on complimenting me in her own special way, and not have to feel like she is doing any kind of damage control... AND she can sleep very easily at night knowing that she will not be compared because there is nothing/no other female from my she can be compared to!
Why? (Caution, you are about to read an ENGINEER's answer)
Because I make the best attempt to remove all possible margins for error (comparison)!
In the post-girlfriend time frame, when I date a woman, I do it with class! The last thing I want to do (fellas, this should also be the last thing you want to do too) is make the woman that chooses to date me feel like she is competing with my past. How can you put that woman first if she ever feels like she is competing with past loves? I put all of that to rest because I have no reminders of that past in my present.
Why?
Because I desire new memories!
Why?
Because I want better memories!
Why?
Because I deserve better and I must give the woman who chooses to date me (because I am a firm believer that although men do the picking, women do the choosing) every opportunity within my boundaries to make her shine in that memories category!
Question! Can that woman make the same guarantee with a photo of her ex lover at her bedside? or with a box full of pictures buried in the depths of her closet?
Fellas, when you are dating a woman, and you find out about these "past-ex" mementos, how much (of a 1-sided) sacrifice (in dignity and self-respect) are YOU willing to make to find out the answer to the above statement and question for yourself?
Here is how the rest of the conversation went after she said that she was going to see this ex.
Yankee (Me): You know, its funny, I dated someone just like you once, who had a shrine just like this (points to wall of photos). 'Imma' save you some time.
Now, the above saying is true, but that is a whole different story. I gained a lot of wisdom from another failed dating experience where I was not quick enough to identify the okie-dok right in front of me, and this woman and I went back and forth, back and forth on the issue, and it ended with me walking out angry, pissed off, upset, and complaining to some of my male friends who at the time did not have any real advice to give me. I even lost a lot of sleep... I was a wreck... but my how I have evolved! This experience shaped (along with dad's advice that day, as well as 'Majors') my official dating philosophy position on women who can not let go. And when the situation happened again, I saved myself a lot of drama. After all, until she says "I do" I must always safeguard myself first. Yea, I remember this like it was yesterday, and I even wrote it how I said it, 'Engrish' and all, LOL!
Either way, these are NOT the words of a 'playa,' but of a Yankee, Relocated!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The Lenten Saga: Day 8
You know what I have not written in awhile? A Social Dating Okie-Dok note! I guess that is because a lot of stuff is going on in my world, both inside and outside of work. Did not read Job 3 yet for the Caterpillar challenge. And since we did not meet last Saturday, the Engineer in me is saying "Hmm... If we were to discuss chapters 1 and 2 last saturday, and we need to do 1 chapter a week, what should the yankee be prepared to share with the group this week (to stay up to speed with the Caterpillar Challenge)?" My logic is flawless (damn I am good)!!! So Why am I slacking!?! I have no clue. Oh yea, I need to tell the choir peoples that I will be taking their pictures Sunday... I suppose I can do that at practice tomorrow, and I need to see if the nieces want to join me at church.
I wanted my next social dating okie-dok note to be about something that I addressed in an earlier entry (see Happy St. Valentines Day), but I think I am going to digress and talk about something else... Something a little bit more subtle that women do (which to me, is disrepectful) that I have encountered during the times I was single during undergrad, grad school, and even today. So to the ladies, I am just going to give you a heads up that you might not like my opinion or my position on this particular topic but at the end of MY day, when it comes to social dating, it solves more problems (for me) than it creates.
I wanted my next social dating okie-dok note to be about something that I addressed in an earlier entry (see Happy St. Valentines Day), but I think I am going to digress and talk about something else... Something a little bit more subtle that women do (which to me, is disrepectful) that I have encountered during the times I was single during undergrad, grad school, and even today. So to the ladies, I am just going to give you a heads up that you might not like my opinion or my position on this particular topic but at the end of MY day, when it comes to social dating, it solves more problems (for me) than it creates.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Double Duty Part 2
Well, I was supposed to write 2 entries on Saturday, but I did not get the chance to since I was running around getting ready for this Med School Prom thing. So I guess I will write two entries today! One for yesterday, and one for today! YaY!
So I have a friend from church who invited me to come along with her and her friends to some event called a Medical School Prom. Some kind of formal, similar to the formal parties (lol, formal, more like house!) that E-Council officially/unofficially promoted during the OSU years, or like the Viterbi Ball during the Southern Cal years. A once-a-year event where people got together, partied, drink, etc... So I meet up with her friends, and go out to eat dinner, and then went to another house before going to the prom. She then introduced me to some of the coolest caucasian ladies I have ever met in a very-very long time. I am giving them all shout outs (and I hope my friend from church lets them know of this entry) because they were:
- Mad cool!
- Easygoing
- Great to talk to
- Did not give me any negative vibes
- Did not make me feel like they thought I was 'nothing' to them since I was not a med school student (unfortunately, I have encountered that, but not from them).
Oh and get this... During The Prom... They.... Even.... DANCED WITH ME!
One of them even told me about "Chapel Hill Women." And explained to me how there is some ratio imbalance of men-to-women, and how the men, as this one lady explained, treated the women, "like dicks." I am not sure if it applied to her ethnic group or women in general, but if that is true, it could explain some (not all) of the classless behavior I have been encountering since setting foot in this area months ago. Especially from those who went to school in this area.
My personal view on the matter is this: Though you were mistreated, it is still no excuse for how you behave towards the new people you meet in your life. Do not penalize me for the actions of others. They are not the sole representatives of the gender.
Lord help me, if I ever adopt that type of mentality.
The person who told me about "Chapel Hill Women" was one of the mad-cool white girls that I met that night. She even told me what kind of doctors I need to start seeing now that I am in the real world and living my life.
When all of us went to the prom, we had fun. We all drank and danced. And when I danced with one of them, she held her own, and she was not afraid to dance with this yankee! Thats what I am talking about! Talk, chat, drink, dance, have fun, make no conclusions about the other person, learn something new. I hope all of us get a chance to hang out again.
Sistas at the Med School Prom on the other hand... D-I-F-F-E-R-E-N-T Story...
With the exception of the sistas that came from our group, and another sista that I knew from a friend of mine years ago... The phrase "You cant even touch them with a 10 foot pole" now has new meaning. I tried to talk to a couple of them, and they were not even interested in meeting me. It was sad. I even tried to dance with two of them and they were not having it. It was not like I was trying to my grind on... I even politely explained to one who was supposedly out on a date that one dance is not going to change the fact that she will not go home with her date at the end of the night. She was very attractive, at first. Not anymore, to me. No real explanation as to why, but even when I tried to strike conversation, they were looking away, distracted, not smiling, I mean, goodness. Not looking good!
I am also beginning to notice a very alarming ethnic role-reversal. Let me explain. It is no surprise that the Yankee is multi-ethnic. I would like to think that I have the best of all worlds ;-). Anyways. Socially speaking, growing up...
The sistas were VERY kind to me. They kept me going. They motivated me. They saw the spark in me. Hey, I was very smart for my age (started school early!), and going though school, they saw that. They respected me. My first kiss was from a sista. All of my relationships so far, have been with sistas.
White and Asian girls back then... Not so nice. They talked about me, they cracked on my sisters, out of jealousy. They have systematically 'done things' to make me feel excluded. They have done the same to my sisters out of jealous hatred. And they were not afraid to attempt to let their white and asian boys at the time, try to show me 'how the world works.'
Lets just say that I have never lost a fight to ANY of them! And I will leave it at that.
Fast forward to the social scene, present day.
White and Asian ladies now... My how it is way easier to talk to these groups. Now they are the ones showing me a lot of love! When I talk to them, they engage me. They are showing their down-to-earthness. They laugh with me, they drink with me, they have fun with me, and they even dance with me. They are showing me a newfound respect that I have never seen before, not even in childhood. I do not know the source of their newfound attraction towards me, but I know that I respected them back when they hated me, and I respect them now.
Just because the white and asian girls back then treated me like a second-class citizen does not reflect or represent the entire group. And I am not going to penalize future white/asian women who come into my life because of the dumb actions of a pathetic few.
Sistas now (Containment area, and general area)... Not So Nice. Again, socially speaking, of course. The ones I have encountered have already made up their minds about me. It looks as if I keep meeting the wrong ones. So far, either they have given me their (wrong) number, stood me up on dates, broken dates (which I do not tolerate), do not want to dance or drink with me, never respond to a voicemail (after a failed attempt to call to talk to them), the list of charges goes on.
This was unheard of in Los Angeles, and Columbus! As materialistic as Hollywood may seem and as Midwest as Columbus could be, the sistas there knew what they had and though some of them disrespected me, it was not as many and it was not to the extent of the classlessness I have encountered from the sistas in this area.
Just because I am running into the wrong ones now, does not mean I am going to penalize the next sista I meet and welcome into my life. She has done nothing to deserve anything less than my personal best. And I remember how sistas treated me growing up. It goes a long way in this yankee's life!
It would be a sad day in the development of this human being when I begin to penalize the women I meet because of a pathetic few. I refuse to believe that the way mom and dad brought me up no longer applies to this world. I must stick to these ideals. They make me who I am. It forges my actions, and reflects my character.
I just wish the right ones see that.
These are the words of an educated yankee!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Reflections of a week gone crazy
So yes, this was a crazy week!
Normally, I am good at maintaining a strict schedule (see post on My New Old Schedule), but something happened Monday that caused a violent chain reaction to my time-management ability... I ended up working late.
And when I work late, I go to sleep late
And when I go to sleep late, I wake up later in the morning
And when I wake up later in the morning I go to work later than I want to
So instead of getting in at work at 6 in the morning this week, after that late night incursion, I was getting in around 8:30-9:00 AM.
Somehow I found the time I need to hit the gym and meet my weight training goals for the week... Alleluia!
Tuesday was a very sad day for Corporate America. Many people lost jobs. I have colleagues here and abroad that were affected. Please keep everyone who lost their jobs this week in your prayers. They have definitely been in mine. This is also a reminder that I have a lot to be thankful for. I was not affected by the job cuts, but that does not mean I need to stay stagnant in my career growth, both inside/outside of work. As an Engineer, I have a lot of skills that I am using, and skills that I am not. It is important to keep all your skills up because you will not know the day or the hour you will be called to use abilities that you had to shelve for the greater good of a project that you are assigned to. America's job cuts is a wake up call to me to let me know that there is no such thing as job security, and you need to do things to set you apart from many others.
In my profession that could vary. But the path that I will most like take is the path that will lead me to a Professional Engineers license, a PMP Certification, and an MBA, because these are my immediate, and long term goals. I want to be a future executive, whether in the company which I am employed or in my own company (as soon as I think of something GREAT!).
Wednesday my brother, his wife, and I got together and went out for dinner. It was great seeing those two, and I know better days are ahead when they get their tails to Charlotte! I can not wait for them to move! Carolina Panthers, here we come!!!
At choir practice Thursday, the director gave the ministry some deep insight on why we sing, and how powerful the words we convey in our singing truly are. If you sing the right note at the right tune, at the right moment, it can reach deep into a persons soul, and they are filled with emotion. Some cry, some are overjoyed, and some are just frozen. When you sing, you are praying twice, or something like that... I think that is the appropriate phrase, but I always find a way to 'goof' it up.
Friday, a friend from the Buckeye days came to town. I took her to dinner and we went dancing. The sista had rhythm but she "got served" by me :-) HAHAHAHAHAHAH, Okay in all actuality, she was holding her own, but I showed her how to dance a little bit of salsa... and it was not like I had to break it down to her kindergarten style. She was a quick study. Point is, she had a lot of fun, and it was great being reunited with a fellow Buckeye!
So besides the normal tutoring, and shopping for groceries, I pretty much did not do anything on Saturday. Went to church... Talked to God... Will be back tomorrow, singing with the choir. My niece will be with me to start off the new week!
Good night everyone!
Normally, I am good at maintaining a strict schedule (see post on My New Old Schedule), but something happened Monday that caused a violent chain reaction to my time-management ability... I ended up working late.
And when I work late, I go to sleep late
And when I go to sleep late, I wake up later in the morning
And when I wake up later in the morning I go to work later than I want to
So instead of getting in at work at 6 in the morning this week, after that late night incursion, I was getting in around 8:30-9:00 AM.
Somehow I found the time I need to hit the gym and meet my weight training goals for the week... Alleluia!
Tuesday was a very sad day for Corporate America. Many people lost jobs. I have colleagues here and abroad that were affected. Please keep everyone who lost their jobs this week in your prayers. They have definitely been in mine. This is also a reminder that I have a lot to be thankful for. I was not affected by the job cuts, but that does not mean I need to stay stagnant in my career growth, both inside/outside of work. As an Engineer, I have a lot of skills that I am using, and skills that I am not. It is important to keep all your skills up because you will not know the day or the hour you will be called to use abilities that you had to shelve for the greater good of a project that you are assigned to. America's job cuts is a wake up call to me to let me know that there is no such thing as job security, and you need to do things to set you apart from many others.
In my profession that could vary. But the path that I will most like take is the path that will lead me to a Professional Engineers license, a PMP Certification, and an MBA, because these are my immediate, and long term goals. I want to be a future executive, whether in the company which I am employed or in my own company (as soon as I think of something GREAT!).
Wednesday my brother, his wife, and I got together and went out for dinner. It was great seeing those two, and I know better days are ahead when they get their tails to Charlotte! I can not wait for them to move! Carolina Panthers, here we come!!!
At choir practice Thursday, the director gave the ministry some deep insight on why we sing, and how powerful the words we convey in our singing truly are. If you sing the right note at the right tune, at the right moment, it can reach deep into a persons soul, and they are filled with emotion. Some cry, some are overjoyed, and some are just frozen. When you sing, you are praying twice, or something like that... I think that is the appropriate phrase, but I always find a way to 'goof' it up.
Friday, a friend from the Buckeye days came to town. I took her to dinner and we went dancing. The sista had rhythm but she "got served" by me :-) HAHAHAHAHAHAH, Okay in all actuality, she was holding her own, but I showed her how to dance a little bit of salsa... and it was not like I had to break it down to her kindergarten style. She was a quick study. Point is, she had a lot of fun, and it was great being reunited with a fellow Buckeye!
So besides the normal tutoring, and shopping for groceries, I pretty much did not do anything on Saturday. Went to church... Talked to God... Will be back tomorrow, singing with the choir. My niece will be with me to start off the new week!
Good night everyone!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
The Broken Date Syndrome
Another Sunday, here and gone. It would have been a routine Sunday, except someone from church asked me if I had made any new friends since my arrival, and by new friends, new 'lady' friends. I had to carefully explain my dating philosophy, and it nearly erupted into a 10 minute conversation (I had this person rollin'). So I basically told this young adult that I am not the type of man that falls for a lot of these ladies "okie dok's." Here is one of many (and there are MANY!!!) I do not put up with. I will try to keep it general, even though I can attest to what I am about to write from personal experience.
- Lady 'communicates' to man that a date previously arranged from the man needs to be rescheduled.
I want you to pay very close attention to that okie dok. Because from that one, you can deduct a lot of things.
First, the man wants to spend time with this woman. At some point in time, they met, maybe exchanged numbers, and calls her up to take her out on a date. So he gives her 3 things:
- A day of the week
- A time during that day of the week
- A location
It was something that the lady committed to. Then out of the blue, she communicates that they (or we) need to reschedule. This could take place in the form of a voicemail, a text message, an email... Why is this an okie-dok?
This is an okie-dok because she left it very open ended.
Yes, the guy gave the lady 3 things, but all she said was, "we gotta do this another time." Whatever the reason, she kept it very general, and did not give the guy any details as to what this 'another time' entails. Even if she did give an explanation, but in the end does not try to make up for a commitment she broke, that man really needs to ask himself if that is the type of woman he wants in his life.
Hint (fellas): if she can not honor a commitment to a 1-2 hr outing with YOU, what makes YOU think she can commit to something more?
In the social world, this illness is called The Broken Date Syndrome. It is not cultural, racial, gender, creed, or age specific! It is the culmination of a lack of integrity from one person to another. And fellas, if you just met that hottie, and she proves that she has this illness, then you need to drop her and move on.
So what is this Relocated Yankee's stance on The Broken Date Syndrome?
Women who commit, then break a date with me, without trying to make up for it right then and there when they commit the act do not last long in my phone book, or in my personal life.
Adopting this hard line stance has prevented more problems than it created because I am a quality man and I want quality relationships with quality women. Next to physically striking me, breaking a date is the most disrespectful thing a woman can do not only to me, but to any man. It shows immaturity, a lack of judgment, and no integrity on her part.
We are no longer children. When you break something, you fix it. When we were children, and we broke the cookie jar, our parents fixed it for us (after a nice tail beating!). We are adults now, if we break something at this point in time, is mom and dad going to come to your rescue? For most mature adults, the answer will be no. So, like I said, if you break it, you fix it.
When you have this knowledge and apply it in "the field" it sucks when you get that call from that lady that says she needs to cancel or reschedule, and all you hear after those words are the sounds of crickets... You want to give her some hints so badly as to what SHE needs to do (after all she's fine as hell! everything about her turns you on), but you can not. This is her moment. This is her chance to show you if she is worth pursuing further... Fellas, if she offers to make it up to you, AND she gives you a date, place, and time, keep her, because that is what you gave her, she realizes this, wants to spend time with you, and wants to make you feel that your effort to spend time with her was well received. If she breaks, and does not give you those three specific items (yes, she must give you all three, on her own, you can not help her at this point), my recommendation would be to politely end the conversation as you see fit, hang up the phone, delete the phone number, and move on.
For you deserve better. Keep searching for your Queen!
Good Night!
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