Uncharted Territory

So this was somewhat of a crazy week, with Jade's surgery and all (and her complications), singing at a funeral, incorporating weight training with my workout regimen and maintaining that, getting up at 5 in the morning everyday, going to prayer sessions, eating right, salsa dancing in the middle of the week, getting my house in order... literally, tutoring, and more tutoring this weekend! And yet, I do not feel burned out. It is as if I am using my time, energy, and gifts wisely with God ordering and pacing my steps.

I should be excited about getting a new home, but I do not feel as exuberant as I thought I would be. I have some jitters and I need to man up and shake it loose. I think a huge part of it is because I am entering uncharted territory, and there is a lot of money (a mortgage) involved.

Uncharted territory... such is one of the many-many words that I will use to describe my life. College and grad school was uncharted territory, and I will blog about that another time. The Containment Area is uncharted territory, southern living is uncharted territory. I will even go as far as saying that being exposed to a lot of southern raised women is uncharted territory.

I think I am afraid that I will mess something up when it comes to this whole 'house-getting' process. Sometimes I really do feel that I am alone, even with all the help. No one in my immediate family can really give me (relevant) pointers on how to approach this. I read a lot of books at Barnes and Noble in the Real Estate, and Finance sections during the holidays just to get a basic understanding of what I am about to undertake.

I am at the point where I no longer have any real control over this situation, and to continue to dwell is to go insane. I do not have any real control because I do not know what I should expect, and worse, I do not even know what to do. Therefore, I must trust in God. I must trust in his son. I must place my trust in the people around me. People like my relocation advisers: relocation consultant, mortgage lender, real estate broker, lawyers, the list goes on. And trust I shall do.

So begins the home buying process... Another adventure in Uncharted Territory.

Operation "Go As Planned..."

Did not fare so well. You see, I thought that if I took Jade early into her surgery (7:00AM) I would be out by 9-9:30 AM and still be able to have a decent work day. Well, well there was a lot of rust, an unfortunate side effect of originally hailing from the North, and by the time they scraped all the iron oxide out, it was literally lunch time. Now normally, I would have eaten lunch, but today I sung with the choir at a funeral (which usually occupies my 1 hr lunch window)... Now this was at 11:30AM...... By 1:50PM I arrived at work, and just told my manager that I was taking the day off. I was sooooo pissed because I did not get any work done, plus I was tired, and since I did not have breakfast or lunch, hungry. 

I have no one else to blame but myself. I made a serious error in (time) judgment. When the guy told me that my car's alignment would not take any more than 2 hours, I should have just taken the shuttle back to work instead of waiting like an eddy right then and there. To me, I came in at 7, and 7+2=9, therefore I would have left around 9, and got in like around 9:15-ish. It would have still been a very salvageable work day. I did not take into account the intangibles... How was I supposed to know that Jade was going to get that rusty as a result of Northern exposure? Once 2 hrs became 3.... then became 4.... I just kept getting more and more restless and upset. 

So I guess I learned some major lessons today:

#1. Things do not "Go As Planned" hence the name of the blog subject.

#2. Bring some snacks/rations/MRE's(Meals Ready to Eat), something to fill your stomach up if you ever decide to wait during service.

#3. If you are doing anything else to your car besides an oil change, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEIR SHUTTLE SERVICE! Leave immediately so you can have a productive day at work!

#4. If you are too overwhelmed to work for that day, get out of that environment. I know my limits, and I am confident that taking a vacation day today was definitely the right thing to do. 

Besides, how often does getting an alignment and new tires for Jade, singing at a funeral, and waiting waaaaay longer to get your car actually happen in the course of one's life? I sincerely hope that this is one of the more rare sequence of events to happen in my days. I would not know what to do if this ever becomes common. 

Tonight, I have to replenish my vitamin supplies (I will blog about this another time), then go back to church for choir practice, and then, salsa dancing! In the midst of all this craziness, I have to do something to keep myself sane. Salsa is it! I have no idea how I am going to wake up at 5 AM tomorrow! LOL!

The Broken Date Syndrome

Another Sunday, here and gone. It would have been a routine Sunday, except someone from church asked me if I had made any new friends since my arrival, and by new friends, new 'lady' friends. I had to carefully explain my dating philosophy, and it nearly erupted into a 10 minute conversation (I had this person rollin'). So I basically told this young adult that I am not the type of man that falls for a lot of these ladies "okie dok's." Here is one of many (and there are MANY!!!) I do not put up with. I will try to keep it general, even though I can attest to what I am about to write from personal experience.

- Lady 'communicates' to man that a date previously arranged from the man needs to be rescheduled.

I want you to pay very close attention to that okie dok. Because from that one, you can deduct a lot of things. 

First, the man wants to spend time with this woman. At some point in time, they met, maybe exchanged numbers, and calls her up to take her out on a date. So he gives her 3 things:

- A day of the week

- A time during that day of the week

- A location

It was something that the lady committed to. Then out of the blue, she communicates that they (or we) need to reschedule. This could take place in the form of a voicemail, a text message, an email... Why is this an okie-dok?

This is an okie-dok because she left it very open ended. 

Yes, the guy gave the lady 3 things, but all she said was, "we gotta do this another time." Whatever the reason, she kept it very general, and did not give the guy any details as to what this 'another time' entails. Even if she did give an explanation, but in the end does not try to make up for a commitment she broke, that man really needs to ask himself if that is the type of woman he wants in his life.

  Hint (fellas): if she can not honor a commitment to a 1-2 hr outing with YOU, what makes YOU think she can commit to something more?

In the social world, this illness is called The Broken Date Syndrome. It is not cultural, racial, gender, creed, or age specific! It is the culmination of a lack of integrity from one person to another. And fellas, if you just met that hottie, and she proves that she has this illness, then you need to drop her and move on. 

So what is this Relocated Yankee's stance on The Broken Date Syndrome?

Women who commit, then break a date with me, without trying to make up for it right then and there when they commit the act do not last long in my phone book, or in my personal life. 

Adopting this hard line stance has prevented more problems than it created because I am a quality man and I want quality relationships with quality women. Next to physically striking me, breaking a date is the most disrespectful thing a woman can do not only to me, but to any man. It shows immaturity, a lack of judgment, and no integrity on her part. 

We are no longer children. When you break something, you fix it. When we were children, and we broke the cookie jar, our parents fixed it for us (after a nice tail beating!). We are adults now, if we break something at this point in time, is mom and dad going to come to your rescue? For most mature adults, the answer will be no. So, like I said, if you break it, you fix it. 

When you have this knowledge and apply it in "the field" it sucks when you get that call from that lady that says she needs to cancel or reschedule, and all you hear after those words are the sounds of crickets... You want to give her some hints so badly as to what SHE needs to do (after all she's fine as hell! everything about her turns you on), but you can not. This is her moment. This is her chance to show you if she is worth pursuing further... Fellas, if she offers to make it up to you, AND she gives you a date, place, and time, keep her, because that is what you gave her, she realizes this, wants to spend time with you, and wants to make you feel that your effort to spend time with her was well received. If she breaks, and does not give you those three specific items (yes, she must give you all three, on her own, you can not help her at this point), my recommendation would be to politely end the conversation as you see fit, hang up the phone, delete the phone number, and move on. 

For you deserve better. Keep searching for your Queen!

Good Night!

Wants and Needs for my New Home

Greetings y'all!

Today I began my independent search for a new home. I have an agent and all, but I can not expect my ally to do EVERYTHING for me! A huge part of it definitely involves... well... ME! So I started driving around and looking for some nice town homes. Now some of you might be thinking, "Well yankee, you ballin' and makin' that corporate money... Why not get a house?" Well, simply put, I do not want to deal with yard maintenance. That is a task for "settled and married men." Besides, I do not even have a lawnmower... That is what my homeowners dues are for. Let me find a woman, fall in love, have a knee failure on my strong leg on a romantic getaway first, and THEN I will worry about lawn work. Also, I see myself taking a hiatus from this area in the distant future (about 6-8 years ahead) since I am aiming for a top 10 Business School, so it would not be very beneficial for me to get a single family home at this time.

Do you HONESTLY think by paying a mortgage, this brotha is settling down and getting married? LOLOLOLOLOL!!! No! This young brotha is taking a financially responsible step in the right direction!

Young people fresh out of college, if you get nothing else from this entry, know that you lose more when you rent long term vs renting in the short term (we all know you gotta get your down payment together) saving, and then using the money you supposedly saved since day one of working for your employer as a down payment towards a mortgage!

So then I really thought about what I want vs what I need. Then I started asking some very hard questions... Questions like:

Do I WANT a Garage? HELL YEA!
Do I NEED a Garage right now (starting out)? Uhm, well, no not really. Since it is only going to be me, I can go without a garage. Yea, it will be nice to have a garage for storage space, but I am not even fully utilizing the storage space at my apartment, and the "Containment Area" is pretty safe... No one has mugged Jade, and the areas I am looking to live seem to be pretty safe and alert communities.

Do I WANT assigned parking? YES!
Do I NEED assigned parking? YES! - Let me explain. This is the one thing that really grinds my gears (thanks Peter Griffin) when it comes to (my) apartment living... Sometimes I come home late at night, from my evening adventures (99.99999% from work ;-) ), and I have no where to park! I would have to go all the way to the OTHER side of the apartment complex just to park, and Lord help me if I have groceries that night (and there were QUITE a few nights of that)! I am not a huge fan of parking behind other cars so I can run groceries in... Most of the time, people who park in our spaces are guests of residents, who leave at like 3-4 in the morning... Either way, I am screwed. So, definitely assigned parking. From the places I have been scouting, most of them if not all of them have two spots allocated per town home, more than enough for me and a guest. AND from the neighborhoods I have scouted, there are parking lots literally within walking distance of my assigned slots, so if I ever decide to host an Ohio State, USC, or a Superbowl party, company will not need to worry about where to park!

Do I want an energy efficient home? YES! AS EFFICIENT AS POSSIBLE! I will entertain all options for gas and electric appliances (even a hybrid mix of the two) as long as my bills are kept low when all the dust settles. You should see the electric bill I have to pay this month.... IT'S ATROCIOUS! And it is not like I am watching TV all the time, I do not even have cable! And I have energy efficient light bulbs everywhere! I think the technician is reading the wrong meter for my apartment, personally. Oh well.

One thing that I definitely do not want is a setup where you can place a TV above the fireplace. I want my fireplace on one side of the living room, and enough room to incorporate my couches, and my future flatscreen somewhere else BESIDES on top of the fireplace. If you guys are already doing that, kiss your warranty on your TV's goodbye! And plus, it is a really dumb thing to do, I do not care how well insulated your fireplace is. You never, ever, EVER place elecronic equipment (all electronic equipement is sensitive to excessive heat) above a fireplace! Take it from a "Double E" (Electrical Engineer) who knows!

Bedrooms... I want at least 2! If I can get 3, I would. I do intend on renting out those rooms once I get them. I remember the kindness of former strangers when they let me rent a room in their homes during my summer internships. Now it is my turn to join in on the fun! And make a little money on the side! Most likely it will be interns I rent to, gotta have reliable sources of prospects!

Bathrooms... At the minimum, 2 Full Baths! If I can get 3, el YAY, but at least 2 full. No compromises there! Especially if I am going to rent it out!

Appliances... I need my appliances. I do not want to move into a home and then see a big hole in the wall where the dishwasher, stove, and fridge used to be. I need all my appliances in the house. So all the above, plus washer/dryer, central air/heating, etc... I do not want to buy any major appliance. The only major things I want to buy (post closing) is my bedroom set, some couches for my living room, a decent sized flat screen TV (and no, Vizio will not do), and an XBox 360.

Flooring... I love hard wood floors! Growing up, my room had hard wood floors, so I guess I'm kind of used to it! But if it is too expensive to have, roll out the carpet! Again, hard wood floors is a want, not necesarilly a need.

That about all I had for now, and I am pretty sure I will amend my wants and needs list in my first home. But for now, I think I will fix my dinner and get ready for another nightly adventure... SALSA NIGHT in the City of Medicine!

Gotta keep these skills up (I did not take Salsa lessons to get my jollies off)!!! Aiight y'all, I am out! Peace!