Happy St. Valentines Day.... to YOU!!!
This year, the Yankee does not have a valentine to call his own. I know, sad right? But did that stop me from spending the money I would have spent on a lucky lady on me? Nope! This yankee, treated himself to:
a manicure/pedicure - Yes I (regularly) get them and you can thank a NSBE Men's Workshop back in the day for pushing me over the edge on this one. Plus I want to test out the theory that women love men with crusty toes, heels, and crackled hands. First I will start and see how women react to the fact that I get these just to show them that I not only take care of myself, that it is the least I could do since all you ladies get your hair done, lip gloss poppin, make up, etc..., just to look attractive to the fellas. Then I will stop getting them and see how many more women are attracted to my weathered extremities.
a deep tissue massage - After doing all this weight training, the masseuse tried to murder me! okay, my shoulder muscles were really tight and knotted! but that massage was one for the ages!
a haircut - gotta get the fresh going!
a little clothes shopping! - Well, I have to get new stuff since half of my old clothes no longer fit me!
dinner! - I even took myself out to dinner.
dancing! - Thats later on tonight!
Now, did I honestly want to be alone on V-Day? Of course not! This is the first time in a very long time, I did not have a valentine. Recession or not, I would not mind treating someone who deserves it out to what I treated myself to. Of course, the key phrase here is 'someone who deserves it.' Not some gilsy who does not know how to treat a man, but a classy lady who knows how to handle herself and treat me right. My are they hard to find in the Containment Area.
Then again, I can boldly say that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle than a woman out here to treat this man with the respect he has earned! I think I got that camel, eye of the needle, thing from a book somewhere.... I just can not remember where I read that! LOLOLOLOL ;-)
Later on, I went to church and spent time with one of the elders (a choir elder), getting to know her, and telling her about some of the things that I have been noticing and going through since coming here. As we talked and talked I helped her set some tables and whatever else she needed. I told this lady that 'I love chasing women... BUT I can only go so far.' That is a true statement. As a man, it is my role to come after you, but there are limits to the pursuit. I have limits not because I do not like you; of course I like you, otherwise I would not chase you, but you people (women) do things to let me know that you are not interested. So why would I continue to chase you further, make an idiot out of myself, and give you ammunition for gossip among you and your 'friends?'
That makes absolutely no sense to me. I will give you an example (this is what I told the elder). Let us say I meet a woman, and I work my charm (lol, charm), and we exchange numbers. A few days later, I call and I get the voicemail. That sucks, but I guess hearing that voice is better than no voice. So what do I do? Because I do not know you, and we made a nice connection (trust me, if we did not hit it off, I would not be calling you!), I want to keep that momentum going... So I ask you out (a fun date), because I want to spend time with you.
Why? I know nothing about you, and I am a curious person. I strive to not judge anyone I date. I know what it is like to be condemned from the very beginning (i.e. a woman told me that she would 'treat me like (such and such)' because all these other guys did x-y-z to her and it was most likely that I would do the same)
You could be the greatest woman to have ever walked into my life, or you could be the next sex-starved convict waiting to make 'unwanted sexual advances' towards me ;-) Either way, your actions (or inactions) dictates my responses.
Lets sidebar for a second since I am an Engineer:
***Start of sidebar***
24 hrs = 1 day
2 hrs = 8.33% of your 24 hour day
24 * 7 = 168 = hours in a week.
2 hrs = 1.19% of your week (less than 2% of your week)
***End of sidebar***
And after I chase you (once), call you (once), leave a message (once)....... drumroll please......
Nothing happens!
No call back...
Not even a text message (as shallow as txt messaging is when someone CALLED you)...
Nothing.
This is an okie-dok, and I will address it in further detail in my next Social Dating Note (because I know you love em!), but if there was no response, no matter how which way you want to slice this (and I love it when people make all the excuses in the world, but the bottom line is what I am about to say next):
I was not worth a 30 second call from the lady to tell me, yes or no, period. To me, you were worth me making an honest attempt of trying to get to know you, by calling you and trying to spend time with you.
So not only was I not worth a 30 second call back to tell me yes or no. To this person, I was also not worth:
2 hours (8.33% of one of her 'days') or (it gets even better)
2 hours (1.19% of her 'week.')
Math is so powerful! I was not even worth less than 2% of her time.
You are essentially telling this brotha who has all the tools to make a great life for himself (education, religious foundation, home training, career oriented, successful, pays his own bills, etc.. etc...) who would love to celebrate his success with you, that I was not worth 30 seconds out of your time to tell me yes or no.
***Sidebar 2
As an exercise calculate the percentage 30 seconds constitutes to your day, and repeat for a week. You will find that-that number is very small.
Your final answer should be in the following form: 30 s = (some percent) of 1 day or (another percent) of 1 week.
They should be VERY small percents!
***End of Sidebar 2
Guess what ELSE-YOU are essentially telling this brotha: I am not worth spending less than 2% of your time out of your week with. To the players of the world, they will keep trying, they will pursue, pursue, and pursue further thinking you are playing hard-to-get when essentially slapped them in the face (and you do this to the good ones too that are not trying to play you).
Lets sidebar for a second since I am an Engineer:
***Start of sidebar***
24 hrs = 1 day
2 hrs = 8.33% of your 24 hour day
24 * 7 = 168 = hours in a week.
2 hrs = 1.19% of your week (less than 2% of your week)
***End of sidebar***
And after I chase you (once), call you (once), leave a message (once)....... drumroll please......
Nothing happens!
No call back...
Not even a text message (as shallow as txt messaging is when someone CALLED you)...
Nothing.
This is an okie-dok, and I will address it in further detail in my next Social Dating Note (because I know you love em!), but if there was no response, no matter how which way you want to slice this (and I love it when people make all the excuses in the world, but the bottom line is what I am about to say next):
I was not worth a 30 second call from the lady to tell me, yes or no, period. To me, you were worth me making an honest attempt of trying to get to know you, by calling you and trying to spend time with you.
So not only was I not worth a 30 second call back to tell me yes or no. To this person, I was also not worth:
2 hours (8.33% of one of her 'days') or (it gets even better)
2 hours (1.19% of her 'week.')
Math is so powerful! I was not even worth less than 2% of her time.
You are essentially telling this brotha who has all the tools to make a great life for himself (education, religious foundation, home training, career oriented, successful, pays his own bills, etc.. etc...) who would love to celebrate his success with you, that I was not worth 30 seconds out of your time to tell me yes or no.
***Sidebar 2
As an exercise calculate the percentage 30 seconds constitutes to your day, and repeat for a week. You will find that-that number is very small.
Your final answer should be in the following form: 30 s = (some percent) of 1 day or (another percent) of 1 week.
They should be VERY small percents!
***End of Sidebar 2
Guess what ELSE-YOU are essentially telling this brotha: I am not worth spending less than 2% of your time out of your week with. To the players of the world, they will keep trying, they will pursue, pursue, and pursue further thinking you are playing hard-to-get when essentially slapped them in the face (and you do this to the good ones too that are not trying to play you).
To me, that was a slap in the face, and I do not like getting hit! So Guess what? If I was not even worth a response, or 2 hours of your 168 hour week at that point in time, what makes ME think that I will be worth 4 hours? 8 hours, 1 week (that is a vacation we could take together), 1 year (that is a relationship), 20, 30, 40 years (in a marriage) in YOUR world, in the future?
I told the elder that when women do not respond, that it is worse than a 'no,' and at that point, there is not much I can do! The chase is over, why beat a dead horse? She did not want to spend time with me, and I am not going to torture myself and try to ask her out again! Yes I want a meaningful relationship with a quality woman, but not at the cost of losing my hard-earned dignity in my sea of humility. The only thing left for me to do at that point is to delete the phone number, and move on.
I hope this answers any questions regarding if I am a 'player' or not.
I told her that I would rather get hurt by a thousand women once, than get hurt by one woman twice. As I was walking her to her car and opening her door, she looked at me, smiled, and said, "They do not make young adults like they used to. You are very well grounded for your age. How old are your parents?" When I told her that they were both born before the 1950's, she said "That explains everything, how you were raised, how you treat people, and how you expect to be treated back." She also told me to not give up, and that someone 'of worth' will see 'my worth.'
I concur! Happy St. Valentines Day, Elder!
